525 600 minutes of 2011

2012 is coming soon and i love to open a new chapter, new beginning and a new spirits.. 2011 has been the wildest ride so far and I'm craving for more..

I learned so many in 2011 and met many empowered and inspiring people. I make a few mistake, and took the lesson. I loss some and I gain more. I gave and I received. I look forward for 2012 and big things are coming and I am ready to face it.

There is a few moment when I feel clueless about my life in relating with my love life and my work life. Sometimes, I do feel hopeless and have my breakdown due to many challenges and difficulties that I'm facing but, that have make me grow bigger and wiser.

Things that happened unexpectedly and it's amazing that I'm still alive and happy. This is because of the support that I received from friends and family. I feel thankful and grateful that every challenges has turn out, fine. Every small things, count. And bless everyone that have been there for me, stand up and make a difference to my life.

My highest peek of my life for this year is during three months period of 'Leadership Program' of AsiaWorks that I attend from May - August. It's surely have bring out the best of me and I have acknowledge myself that I am capable to do things that I thought I never will have it.

During that time, I have prove to myself that I can lose 10 kilos, play guitar and be a writer and have my own blog. It sounds simple and many people have done it and did it well. So, why is this important to me? Because it makes me realize things which I told myself that "I can't" is a myth. And all this time, I have ask myself a wrong question.

And what is the most important question for me is, "What Do I Want?" At first when a friend asked me, "What do you want, Sophie?" I feel awkward because, I'm just not sure what I want or basically, I don't believe that I can have what I want. And he keep repeating that same question and I feel annoyed, and become angry, frustrated. And when this question keep repeating to my head, it hits me to my heart and soul. And tears just drop.

There is a few things that I want in my life, the one that makes me feel complete. I want to take control of my life. I want to be able to do things that makes me happy. I want to have my own freedom of thought and opinion. I want to have freedom to love.. I want to have "fireworks" in my life. I want to shine and just be who I am.

For me, money and material is just a tools and the end product is the value that I have gain. I keep telling my self that I don't have enough source (e.i. money) to get what I want but, as I learn to appreciate every single thing around me, I have enough. I tell myself that I am in progess of getting what I want. It helps me to be patient and to be focus.

I learn to listen to my inner self and how to love myself and that is the biggest discovery. And I don't have to be perfect and have all the money in the world to be happy. My 525 600 minutes is worth living for 2011.

And I look forward for another 525 600 minutes to live, to love and to learn...

http://youtu.be/HcSDli-Byn8

Let's Walk Hand In Hand

Yesterday is another day to be remembered by all of us Malaysian and kudos to Malaysian Bar to make this stand to opposed the Peaceful Assembly Act 2011 Bill. Although that the Malaysian Parliament passed the law, (as I expected - 2/3 majority Barisan National MP's lah!)

Some people support the Bill, some people against it, some just don't give a damn!

But hey, we live in a Democracy country, which the voice of people need to be heard. Regardless whether you are from the majority or minority's, your voice counted and must be heard. With this law and the way it has been conduct and when we read through it, our conscience were itching telling us "hey, this is not right," And let us exercise our ability to respond because we can. We can exercise our right to freedom of speech, in good faith of course.. even if you have something stupid to say...

According to our Federal Constitution article 10, guarantees Malaysian citizens has the right to freedom of speech, freedom of assembly and freedom of association. However, we do not live 100% fully to our Constitution because of 1001 reason that has been made by our current Government. And this Act is surely, or seems to be (or at least to most of us who READ and UNDERSTAND what is the Federal Constitution) knows that this Act is just another Draconian Law same as the ISA and the rest of other related existing act.

Recently, there is an event for the minority to voice out their concern and worries, Sexuality Merdeka 2011. And yet, their right has been taken away. SEXUALITY MERDEKA WAS BANNED! Thanks to Ibrahim Ali, Perkasa Leader. Being typical Melayu, anything related to SEX, GAY, HOMOSEXSUAL is just another juicy stuff to gossip into without really understand what is it anyway. Simply want to make so much noise without really understand what is that event are all about. And then, judging and discriminate. It's easy to punish people because they think they have "power". So sudden, some so-called Leader make a statement saying that Homosexuality is unconstitutional. Note to that statement, "Don't simply use the word of "UNCONSTITUTIONAL" if you don't know what "Constitution" means because, it sounds stupid and yet funny when it you say out loud!

Drama! Drama! Drama! Being Melayu, we just loves watching Drama, kan?

I'm just a simple humble lay person with Law background education, another Malaysian Citizen and registered voter. I am NOW proudly use my right to express my frustration and my deepest sympathy to our beloved Prime Minister, that this two ways relationship between Leaders=Rakyat as what you have been proposed or promoting (transformation thingy) is not working because the real transformation thingy that is suppose to happen is not happening. You just lost ONE vote. Opps..

I have hope that one day, our Prime Minister could be someone like Nelson Mandela, Aung Sann Suu Kyi, Martin Luther King Jr. Dalai Lama, and many more Leader who sacrifice their whole life to uphold the right of the people. Nothing more important to have Leader using their REASON and COMMON SENSE, genuinely uphold what their human conscience whispered... regardless their race, religion and gender.

I have a dream that one day, Malaysia have a leader who protects the right of the Rakyat as a whole and put the Rakyat on top of their heads. Let us walk hand in hand to make sure the voice of all Rakyat Malaysia even animal and our forest will be heard and together we build the nation where reason and common sense arise!!

Let us sending lots of love, compassion and positive vibes to our future... Let's spread good by exercise words of kindest. Being aware that the changes always starts from within... If we want to see the Changes, Be the change.

I love you Malaysia. Forever.

Love,

Sufi.

Maarraaaaatthhhoonn....??!!

aku, harvey and daniel

LP 145

aku, dia dan medal - berbaloi lari 10km

menyibuk betul... hahahahaha!! tapi, dia lah yang paling disayangi...

berehat lepas lari....

Oh, wow..!! Dah lama aku tak update my blog. Macam-macam dah berlaku..tak tahu nak update yang mana dulu..

Baru-baru ni, aku join Marathon. Putrajaya Night Marathon. Run for 10km for the first time. First time join marathon with budak2 consti Bar Council - 5km jer. itu pun naik semput sebab tak gi training. So, this time, aku bertekad nak habiskan marathon for 10km. fuh! nasib baik cik abang dgn besfren cik abang aku pun join sekali.. tak de laa boring kan? malam2 pulak tu.. tapi, memang happening dan best sekali. budak2 asiawork - LP145 pun join sekali, tapi, dorang lari untuk 5km jer. ada dua orang yang lari untuk half marathon. pergghh.. tabik!

Anyway, masa mula2 nak run for the marathon tu punyalah semangat. Really, rasa macam hebat giler nak lari for 10km tapi, bila time dah sampai.. adoyai.. belasah jer laaa.. mak aih.. punyalah ramai orang kat Putrajaya.. aku pun rasa excited tapi, cik abang aku tu byk pulak bunyinya tapi, aku diamkan jer laa.. kang kalau aku kutuk2, half way aku "pancit", dorang gelakkan aku plak..

Anyway, nasib baik ada daniel.. ceria sikit laa marathon malam tu.. dia ni berat orangnya tapi, aku tahu dia boleh habiskan marathon saje dia buat ngada-ngada nak teh tarik laa.. rokok laa.. tapi, baguslah dia ada nak buat lawak.. usik2 awek2 dan kakak2 yang berusaha sungguh nak habiskan marathon.

So, sekarang ni dah jadi giler marathon.. ehehehe.. this week ada marathon eh.. walkathon kat the Curve. Awareness untuk orang utan. Support the cause laa sambil2 menderma.. hurm.. menarik gak dapat join activiti2 yang menyihatkan macam ni.. tak de lah asyik melepak depan tv dan membesarkan badan.. hahaha.. :)

Baru2 ni, ada member ajak gi marathon kat dataran merdeka. itu pun mesti syok... hehehe.. tengah bersemangat.. bolehlah join.. nnt kalau dah malas.. adoyaiii.. ish! tak boleh malas! I need to keep fit and stay fit.. lalala..

Sayonara!!!

Merdeka!! Or Merdeka??!

Tanggal 31 Ogos 2011, Malaysia menyambut hari kemerdekaannya yang ke-54. I don't really keen about it because of hari raya celebration. Lagipun, there is nothing to celebrate if we don't really understand why independent during 1957 is very important to the Malaysian and to the youth especially to the next generation? Or, is it just another public holiday. Lagi satu public holiday yang bakal disambut ialah 16 September 2011. Hari Malaysia.

Pada tahun 16 September 1963, Tanah Melayu, Sabah, Sarawak, Singapore telah bergabung menjadi Malaysia. Sebelum itu, pelbagai drama yang berlaku. Brunei tak jadi be part of Malaysia. Singapore pula dah keluar dari Malaysia. So, yang tinggal Semenanjung Malaysia, Sabah, Sarawak jelah. Hurm, sepanjang aku hidup ni, tak pernah lagi aku kunjungi Malaysia Timur lagi. Insyaallah.

Sejak kebelakangan ni, banyak suara-suara politik yang membangkitkan isu nasionalis. Salah satu isu yang hangat membahang ialah pasal PKM, Parti Komunis Malaya. Aku suka sejarah masa zaman persekolahan dulu dan aku gemarkan subjek itu bukan semata-mata kerana SPM tetapi, aku rasa inilah bangsa aku. Aku bangsa Malaysia yang berketurunan Melayu dan sejarah memberitahu asal usul dan di mana titik permulaan bagaimana bangsa aku dibentuk.

Aku tak peduli dari mana keturunan nenek moyang kita berasal. Bak kata pepatah Melayu, di mana bumi dipijak, di situ langit dijunjung. Menurut bapa aku, nenak moyang aku berasal dari Jawa. Jawa tu terletak dalam rumpun Melayu. Dari penghijrahan nenek moyang dari kepulauan Jawa datang ke Tanah Melayu, lantas membina kehidupan baru dan mencorak sejarah mereka sendiri dengan membawa budaya dan cara hidup sehingga memberi pengaruh terhadap generasi masa sekarang.. dan masa depan.

So, aku bercakap melalui pengalaman dan pengamatan menerusi kanta mata aku dan menilai melalui pemahaman aku sebagai seorang yang dilahirkan dan dibesarkan dalam keluarga berbangsa Melayu dan hidup bermasyarakat dengan pelbagai kaum dan bangsa. Dan, aku bangga jadi rakyat Malaysia. Merdeka kita bagi aku ialah bebas dari perintah dan penjajahan Inggeris.

Namun, soalnya kini.. bebas lagikah kita dari kemelut sebenar yang sentiasa menghantui kita? Bebaskah kita dalam mencari kebenaran? Bebaskah kita dalam mencapai apa yang kita impikan untuk kita dan bangsa kita?

Aku tidak ada jawapan yang konkrit untuk soalan yang diutarakan. Aku masih mencari apa yang benar bagi aku. Apa yang aku tahu, hanya orang yang berani menghadapi kebenaran akan menjumpai apa yang diingini. Hanya orang yang tabah dan cekal mengharungi dan berusaha mendapatkan apa yang diimpikan.

Semakin besar harapan kita, semakin besar cabaran yang datang... Soalnya, apa yang kita mahukan secara keseluruhannya. What is our common goal as Malaysian? Merdeka?!! (garu kepala) or Merdeka!!!

Salam Lebaran 2011

Bulan Syawal bakal menjelma dan Ramadhan bulan barakah akan berlalu..

Sekejap betul masa berlalu.. Minggu depan dah nak raya.. Persiapan hari raya satu apa pun tak buat lagi. Aku rasa macam baru sekejap jer puasa bulan Ramadhan ni, tak puas rasanya nak solat Terawih. Bazar Ramadhan pun tak kunjung selalu. Makan jer apa yang mak masak. Kadang-kadang, bila teringin barulah pergi beli murtabak ataupun ayam percik.. Bila jalan-jalan Bazar pun, tak rasa terliur mana pun sebab, dah namanya "on diet".. :P

Bila cakap pasal nak raya ni, aku rasa sebak sikit sebab, tahun ni raya tanpa arwah atuk di Gopeng. Tiap-tiap tahun, mesti balik ke kampung. Sekarang ni.. entahlah.. suasana tentu tak semacam dulu lagi.. Biar pun sambutan hari raya sentiasa sederhana tetapi, perasaan kasih sayang antara sanak saudara sangat terasa..

Tertanya juga aku, kalau misalnya beraya di luar negara, apa laa perasaannya? Mesti lagi sayu kan? Adoyai... Aku tak pernah lagi beraya jauh dari keluarga kecuali Raya Haji. Sebab, cutinya pendek. Tak balik kampung. Tahun ni, cuti raya seminggu. Ofis aku pun tutup kedai seminggu. So, pendek kata, memang beraya sakan laa..

Tapi, aku tak rasa apa excited sangat pun tahun ni, baju raya pun pakai yang dah dulu-dulu punya sebab.. hahahaha.. baju 2 tahun lepas dah boleh pakai.. syiookknyaa.. dah lose weight ni kan, baju yang baru beli dah longgar. So, boleh dah pakai baju saiz M yang dari zaman dulu-dulu. Hahaha.. Anyway, tak boleh riak sangat kan sebab nantinya bila dah raya nanti, pergi open house sana-sini, dah kembali ke saiz L. Ish! Ish! Ish!

Buat haru biru jer.. Alahai.. duit raya laa.. Hurm.. nak kena located a sum of money for my anak buah and mak-mak sedara yang lain. Hehe.. moga-moga murah rezeki.. Erm.. dah besar panjang cam ni mana nak dapat duit raya lagi ek?

Kuih raya semua main tunjuk-tunjuk dan order. Mana lah ada masa nak duduk uli tepung bagai juadah tu.. Semua nak cepat jer.. Oredi made! Memang tak de hati laa nak buat.. Kalau rajin pun, maybe nak buat biskut cornfleks dgn madu. Tu jer! :P

Kad Raya? Huhu.. baru dapat sekeping. Itupun, dari SIS. So, cam ner? Aku pun tak teringat nak pos kat kawan-kawan.. Cam ner beb, semua pakai facebook, digital and SMS jer, kan? Hurm.. entahlah.. Raya dulu dah lain dengan raya sekarang ni.. Adakah kerana faktor umur? And dah tak dapat duit raya lagi? Tak jugak aku rasa.. Tapi, if it's to be, it's up to me what?

Anyway, kemeriahan hari raya tu bagi aku adalah terpulang kepada individu itu tersebut. Raya tahun ni, bagi aku lebih menjurus kepada keinsafan. Bila aku kenang semula, aku rasa bersyukur kerana aku ada ibu bapa yang masih lagi hidup dan aku masih boleh berjasa kepada mereka. Adik beradik yang aku boleh harap. Anak-anak buah yang menjadi penyambung harapan.

Maaf. Sekiranya ada terkasar bahasa atau tak berbahasa yang bisa menyinggung perasaan para sahabat. Maaf dari hati yang tulus ikhlas. Aku hanya insan biasa. Semoga lebaran ini membawa seribu makna kepada semua..

Salam Sayang,

Sufi.

What's Next?

After 3 months journey of uplifting and breakdown, most probably we wonder what's next for us? What's next for me?

Through this journey, I have found so many miracles and obstacles. I learned by doing and I'm doing by being.. A lot of things has come to me and I felt overwhelm by the experience that I have gone through..

Forever I shall remembered friends and loves one come together and be as One Heart, One World with Boundless Possibility.

Those who gives and receives play an important role for each one of us to win and achieve what we aiming for. This journey has reminded me how excited my life is. Every minute counts and every love has cherished and shared.

This last three months has make me realize that if it's to be, it's up to me. If I want to play safe without empower myself to work extra harder, my level of comfort zone shall remain the same. Where is the streach on that?

The bigger my streach is, the powerful I may become. And power is something that I create and I have experience the moment where I have been focus in where, it's all about me, me, me and I have not move forward. And the moment I focus out to the sky, to reach out to my surrounding, I am flying.. and flying high!

The feeling is so good! I felt awesome everytime I have reach my breakthrough.. All I need to do is to be grounded and be focus in what I wish to create. most of the time, I create love, love, and so much love.. The more I give love, the more I received.

Thank you so much for this opportunity, Sufi. So, what's next for you, dear?

I am flying off to overseas, to learn, to discover, to live, to establish, to love, to earn, to bless, to care, to connect, to teach, to trust, to give, to receives, to dream..

Love,

Sufi GLP145.

Knowing Your Sexuality and Live Happily Ever After ~

Recent news about lesbian chinese couple married at Batu Pahat cought me by surprise however, I really happy for them. Both of them surely know who they were and what do they want which most of us, (straight people) often get confused.



Anyway, I am totally open about LBGT community, although not much about them I knew except for the myth and my observation. However, I do find that they also have feelings. So what if there have different taste from "normal" people, what matter is of course the intention and their pure desire.



Who can choose love? When someone decided that he is in love with someone regardless of race, religion or sex, he knew it's coming from a true heart. Taking that big step to acknowledge how important their feelings are at the same time, we respect each other.



I know that I do attracted to beautiful girl but, to be in love and to have relationship with girls I doubt it because, I am bleassed to have the most increadeble man and I adore him every second. But, hey.. things might be different one day, I might turn out to be biseksual and he is okey with it or vice-versa. Oops!



Anyway, sex and sexuality is two different things. Having sex and making love is also in between one thin line. Sex is unpredictable. The thing about us, (Malaysian) we have not be open to discuss about sex because sex is always misinterpreted as being immoral, and this is because of the human act itself.



Doing Sex and Being Sex.. Uuuhhh.. interesting thought!! What about it?! Should I go further about it? Curiousity kill the cat. However, have a look and be sensible about people who choose to love same sex. What are they thinking when they decide that? Is it because of the hormone?



Honestly, at first I do have a goosebumb and uneasy feeling especially when I have witness some PDA thingy by the LGBT among themselves. My believe said, this is SIN! Not normal! Against natural law!! However, I opened up. I stop having that believe, I look at the situation and the possibility of having mutual understanding and respect, I choose to have that understanding and respect their being and I vote, I stand by LGBT community.



I have a situation before this, where my friend come to me and said, her husband left her because of one hot transgender. I was shocked that the husband prefer a trans over a woman but then, I stop and be aware of what was I'm thinking. So, should I reacted differently if the third person is a natural born woman? Of course not so, I should not over reacted about who is the third person is right? The doing is matter not the gender. So what if the husband finally decided that he is a gay, and if the third person is a HE, still the same. My advise to the woman, do the necessary things of what the Family Law has provided in getting her right, divorce or maintenance and blessed him that he is finally live happily ever after!



Love,

Sufi.

Time Like These...

I am a one way motorway
I’m the one that drives away
Then follows you back home
I am a street light shining
I’m a wild light blinding bright
Burning off alone

It’s times like these you learn to live again
It’s times like these you give and give again
It’s times like these you learn to love again
It’s times like these time and time again

I am a new day rising
I’m a brand new sky
To hang the stars upon tonight
I am a little divided
Do I stay or run away
And leave it all behind?

It’s times like these you learn to live again
It’s times like these you give and give again
It’s times like these you learn to love again
It’s times like these time and time again

Friends and beloved,

How do you measure A Year In The Life with Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes? How you plan the journey of your life?

Do you measure by the money you making? Or, the good that you contribute to other people?

How About Love? Did you measure a year in Love? How Do You Measure The Life, regardless of your sex, a Woman Or A Man? The truths that She Learned Or In Times That He Cried..? How about the Bridges that he or she Burned? Or The Way That She or he Died?

In time like this, have you ever ask yourself how powerful you are? Have the ability to dance, to laugh, to cry, to respond, to love and to do many wonderful things in life.. If you have 1000 friends now, why don't go further to have millions of friends all over the world. Be open and vulnerable doesn't mean that you are weak. Be determine in what we believe, what we stand for is way far from being stubborn.

Life a miracle. Regardless for who you are. You are precious and live your life to give, to love, to learn and times like these time and time again!! Imagine that you only have 3 months to live, how would you want to live your life?

Embrace every moment with it! Enough with the victim story because it ain't bringing you anywhere you want. Love yourself is different from being selfish. Your life is depend on how you see things around you..

Thank you for your time and making a stand for you!

Dogs have feelings too~

Pets! I I love pets. I am a cat person. I prefer cats rather than dogs because it's easy to take care of cats and I love the ppuuurrrrr sound that they make and 'massage'. Cats are sexy creature, they have attitude that, 'hey, don't mess with my fur' kinda thing.

Anyway, last Saturday I attended one event organized by my beloved friends, Sandy. She is a dog person as I experience her, she really loves dogs!! This event was called "Dog - walk-a-thon" It was held at Bandar Utama Central Park at 8.00am-11.00am. I was thrilled and so axcited about this event, so I borrow my friend's dog. Her name is Manja. Actually, I named her Manja because she is so adorable and cute, very loving to!! She is 7 years old 'virgin'..

Anyway, the clarification question that was asked regularly to me on the event was, "Aren't Muslim not suppose to touch the dogs? It's haram, right?" "Muslim can't keep dogs as a pet right? They say it's najis,"

Let me clarify a few myths and make a few points:

1. It is NOT haraam to own a dog, though it is not hygienic to keep a dog in the house.

2. It is NOT haraam to touch a dog or any other animal. If the saliva of a dog touches you or any part of your clothing, then it is required of you to wash the body part touched and the item of clothing touched by the dog’s mouth or snout.

3. It is incumbent upon all Muslims who own animals, whether for farming or work purposes or as pets, to provide adequate shelter, food, water, and, when needed, veterinary care for their animals. Arrangements must be made, if one is going to be away from home, to have one’s animals taken care of as well.

4. It is haraam to keep a dog or any other animal on a short lead for long periods without food, water, and shelter. Dogs need exercise and are social creatures who form organized “family” structures in nature. Dog owners therefore need to spend time daily with their dogs.

5. It is cruel, and therefore haraam, to keep any animal in a cage so small that it cannot behave in a natural way.

6. Fireworks cause untold suffering to most domestic animals because of their acute sense of hearing.

7. It is haraam to participate in any blood “sport,” like dog fighting and trophy hunting.

No animal has been cursed in any way. Animals are referred to in many instances in the Qu’ran. In Surah Kahf, mention is made of the companions of the Cave and their dog. (S18: 18-22). In the Holy Qur’aan (S4:36) we are advised to do good to “… what your right hands own …” According to the commentator Imaam Faghruddin al-Rhazi, this refers to all those who have no civil rights, including animals. Thus, the verse lays down the duty of being good toward animals.

All things “…have been created for you ...” for our benefit (S2:29). It thus becomes our duty to protect, employ with dignity, and promote the well-being of any animal in our care. In this way, we are expressing our thankfulness to Allah (swt) for His blessings in a practical manner. (Qur’anic Foundations and Structure of Muslim Society, Mawlana F.R. Ansari, vol. 2, pp. 125-126) Every animal has been created for a purpose. It is a duty upon every human being to respect Allah’s creation.Sayyidina ’Umar (ra) was very concerned about the animals during his rule as Amir or head of the Islamic empire.

Many assumption or misunderstanding about dogs. I myself was being told that way and never to see the reason behind every things that they informed. It's haram because God say so and I obey. However, as I experience Manja, I fall in love with her. Once of twice when I saw her owner, scolded her, I was being uneasy about it. Dogs are like baby, they love to play and love the attention. They can be reliable creature too, they loyal and they remember you.

There is a story about a dog that take my heart a way, named Hachiko. He was an Akita dog born on a farm near the city of Ōdate, Akita Prefecture,^[1] remembered for his remarkable loyalty to his owner, even many years after his owner's death. In 1924, Hidesaburō Ueno, a professor in the agriculture department at the University of Tokyo, took in Hachikō as a pet. During his owner's life, Hachikō greeted him at the end of each day at the nearby Shibuya Station. The pair continued their daily routine until May 1925, when Professor Ueno did not return. The professor had suffered from a cerebral hemorrhage and died, never returning to the train station where Hachikō was waiting. Every day for the next nine years the golden brown Akita waited at Shibuya station.

My point of sharing this is to invite you who have issue with dogs, to have a look on that and see how you can make a different to you and to this creature. Why stopping us from us from loving them and worst, judging them without really understand to what extend do we are not allowed to. God created the best animals for us to love and to care.

Why stop when it come to dogs? I stand for animal rights and yes, vote against animal cruelty!

Kudos to http://www.myanimalcare.org/2011/08/dog-walk-thon-event-at-bandar-utama.html

for making a stand for animal right!

Suu Kyi: The Voice Of Her People

Who is she?

Suu Kyi is a Burmese opposition politician and the General Secretary of the National League for Democracy. She has been detained under house arrest in Burma for almost 15 of the 21 years from 20 July 1989 until her release on 13 November 2010. Like Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King and Nelson Mandela, Anug San Suu Kyi has become an iconic figure. She has persistently opposed Burma’s brutal military regime, instituted by General Ne Win in 1962.

Why is she my hero?

She is a loving, honest and powerful woman. So much love and honesty that give to the her family, her people and her country and this has make her the most influence leaders ever in this decade. Her determination and her courageous inspired me. Although her leadership of Burmese democracy movement and her passionate advocacy of human rights, have landed her in desperate trouble, she has invented the power of the powerless. The power of the people and she definitely the voice of her people.

She was first placed under house arrest in 1989 and in the years between, she has faced constant physical and psychological harassment by the Junta/Tatmadaw. Her extraordinary commitment to the Burmese people has resulted in involuntarily separation from her family - her English husband, Dr. Micheal Aris and their two sons. Aris’s death in 1999 was yet another cruel twist of the knife but, nothing can draw away Suu Kyi from the course she committed to.

What does “Freedom From Fear” means?

It is not power that corrupts but fear. Fear of losing power corrupts those who wield it and fear of the scourge of power corrupts those who are subject to it.

Aung San Suu Kyi: Freedom From Fear.

Study about her made me understand about what is powerful leaders means. To me, “Powerful “ meant Strong Energy. Energy can be positive when it become productive and it can be negative when it create destructive. History shows that, leaders create by being powerful when she or he can enrolling people to her or his vision.

When one leader create a vision and focus out to the people, we can see and feel the amount of positive energy can build a nation with full of goodness, fairness and just. People are connected and united. However, powerful leader of destruction like Hitler, Mussolini and many more and Ne Win (Junta) are creating fear and restriction to the people and these leaders are focus- in to themselves and sabotage the goodness of being human. We look like a free people and in fact laws, draconian laws has actually tied up the power and the rights of the people.

Example, Dr. Mahathir has enrolled me to his vision of Wawasan 2020, (although now, I wonder whether our current government still care about it when all I heard now is just One Malaysia) and I do feel that he is a powerful leader. However, I experience him as a controller leader which may lead to injustice. Well, every thing must go according to his way, and result shows, he is powerful leaders.

How is her being make her the Human Rights Icon?

Back to Aung San Suu Kyi, I experience her being a loving leader. She promotes non-violence approach and chooses democracy is the best way to rule the government. So that, the people can exercise their right as to what had been written in the constitution. During her fights against the Junta, I notice that she is persistence on the idea violence against violence is not the way to gain victory of independent. However, by being courageous and determine. Her integrity and belief about power lay on the hand of the people and not, in the hand of a soldier pointing out the guns to the people who shout for justice and freedom.

She has been such a strong woman and yet, soft and delicate to her people that charms all around the world and that why she won the Noble Prize for make a stand for her people.

Yes, she is a daughter of Bogyoke Aung San. He is Burmese hero during the fight of independence from the British. There is no doubt that exist other powerful leaders however, when one leader are only think about themselves and the people around them is just another tools to gain powers, the credibility of the leader reduce.

What did her people say about her? How they look up to her?

She is their only hope and to free the people from fear. I have attend to one of the ceremony at Bar Council recently on early July to celebrate her birthday and have the opportunity to ask Burmese people who attended as well, and all of them, love Suu Kyi so much like she is their mother. They wanted to go back their country and live there happily like what we have right now.

Burmese is beautiful people, very polite and respect people. I feel sad as well to have listened to their wishes when they don’t know when Burmese can have their real independence, and be free from fear.

MY LP Journey

My LP Journey.

Why I Choose This Program

3 months ago, I decided to be in this program called Leadership Program - LP. I have no idea what kind of challenge that I may face and go through. However, before I signed up for this Program, I have started the journey 2 years before when I entered Basic Training. First question and the only thing that still remain in my head is, “Who am I PRETEND not to know.” Gosh! Even while writing about it, make my bulu roma berdiri, you know! Give me goose bum. Why? Because I always thought that I am fearful, stupid and low confident. That belief cost me six years and a half in UM just taking Law Degree. Super Duper Senior!! Ehem!! Well, it’s my past. So, being” that” does not help me to move forward, right? That is why I need to shift to be confident, powerful and smart woman. Haha! So, it is me who sabotage myself - I have been limit myself to step up and dream BIG.

I remember during my Training, the participants being such a lovely and giver people and the Staffing team such a warm and loving leader. And the Trainer is brilliant. At that time, I wonder what kind of voo-doo stuff that he have until he can GET me, understand me without I am really aware about it. Well, that is my experience during my Basic Training and it was fantastic until I felt like I want to be like them especially the Staffing Team of MSB11. From that training, I now I have confident to drive, ehem! And become a practitioner lawyer.

Anyway, back to the program. There are few assignments that we need to accomplish within three months of period, at the same we need to balance life that we live; work, family and friends and the goals that we committed to achieves. So, things have been double up or even triple if we choose to. And I am being in my comfort zone, being Miss 50-50 is totally NOT OK at all, because 50-50 (means half hearted) don’t create result that I want. Therefore, being Miss Focus! Determination! 100%! Can create awesome result!! Change does start from within and I trust that I am capable to juggle things in my life.

Why I choose This Goals

My first goal is to get back to writing again. I love to write when I was in high school and I forgot how passionate I was back then when I write. Why I love to write? Because I’m less good in public speaking? Hahaha!! No. I love to simply because I can be myself. I’m visualise, a dreamer, story-teller. Especially every time I wrote it with knowledge and from my heart. I created love and passionate trough writing. And determination is the key! Write 4000 words a week about gender equality!

My friend commented, “you ought to write a book!” Wow!! Yeah.. I think it’s possible. We’ll see. I get inspired by reading some of beautiful articles especially by Ms. Zainah Anwar, one of the founders of Sisters In Islam and lovely Marina Mahathir. Both of them are my inspirational and both of them write the truth and nothing but the truth. They both dare to give honest feedback about our Country as a whole because both of them are loving, honest and powerful women!! And, I GET them!

Get connected with my soul!

My second goal is to learn how to play guitar with my brothers so that I could perform 2 songs. I choose song by Ben E. King – Stand By Me and P.Ramlee – Getaran Jiwa. I used to have belief that would never know how to play guitar. I was not put my heart and soul to do that and so, I don’t play until recently, I feel envy to Ana Rafali, Yuna, Zee Avi how cool they are playing guitar. Hey, not bad for a woman to play guitar. So, I decided to break my belief that I can play with the help of my soul brothers.

God knows, how many times I cut the guitar string while I was trying to tuning-up the sounds like it suppose to sounded until the shop assistant at the instrument store that I always went to get a new set of the string, “New Set?”. Lately, I have a break down with the guitar; I wish I could smash it to the wall and then I realize that, I have not connected to my soul for that song – Getaran Jiwa/The vibration of the Soul. Anyway, it’s still in progress!

And why do I want to learn from my brother, I could just go the guitar class and depend on hot and hunk guitarist only right? But, hey.. who can beat the love that I have with my brothers. I want to get connected with each and every of them. So, first, get connected with my vision, my soul and my brother. Currently, I work with my second brother, Sufian. J And wish for a very strong and loving connection with all of them in future.

My third goal is to lose 10kilogram. Currently, I left 3kg to achieves my target!! Yes!! Why? Because I want to look good and when I look good, I feel good! When I feel good, I obviously going to conquer my fear and my doubt. I was not serious before about losing weight. I belief that losing weight is the harder things to do! But, hey.. it’s all depend on my being and how I see it and I desperately I want to keep fit and feel healthy!

I believe I can achieves those goals? It’s real! It’s important! And it’s my life. Never give up! This is not just a Leadership Program but it is how I want to live my life in future!! Create habits and result! And I shall never stop there. Keep continuing having a compelling desire, Solid belief, doing effective action and have an IRON WILL!

My feedback to you: So, do you have any goal? What do you want? By when you want to achieved it? Why izit so important to you that you really want to achieve it! ...but then, why are you holding it back? What is missing? Which one is more bigger? The goal or the consideration? Well, have a look .. really.

Other than to achieve my goals, I also feels honor to contribute my support to my fellow team mates in achieving their goals. For example, Joyce.

She was grew up with the leprosy home at Sungai Buloh, Pusat Kawalan Kusta. I heard of leprosy before but I never seen one. I guess, I don’t care enough to know about them and I am grateful to have this opportunity to have this experience.

It was held at the Dewan Orang Ramai, Sungai Buloh, and the event was called, “Valley of Hope,” It’s was huge and I felt overwhelm by the support by the public but then, Joyce really put 100% to make this event a successful. Very much indeed, the event was held from 9.00am until 3.00pm. The lounch of the event is at 1pm and it was launch by one of the Senior Officer of the Sungai Buloh Hospital.

A lot of activity held during that event. We have food stall. My other team mates and also contribute food to sell, my self sell curry puff and Agnes, sold it RM3 for four pieces. For charity! And the money would be chanelling to various home that needs help. We have a tour guide around the Valley where, they have post office, clinics, theather and chalet for the leprosy people to enjoy.

Oh, back then, leprosy can be infected to others so, that’s why they need to be isolated from others. And now, through medication, now the leprosy can be reduce. Well, for me, it’s really an eye opener. I have a chance to help one of the leprosy old man. His name his Subra, like as what he told me. And he is still single until now and he is 88 years old. Just imagine, the life that he has been through. I feel grateful to have this learning about leprosy.

Another one learning through this journey is when I assist a single mother in getting her son for custody at the Mahkamah Syariah. I have no idea how to help her in terms of preparing the litigation works but, yeah I take inisiative to learn and now, she is successful in getting what she wants. The love and hope for her son after, her trust towards her husband has been shattered and betrayed.

Through this journey, I learned more about myself and best, I learned about being is important element for us to achieve what we want in our life. Giving 100% is the ultimate and satisfied feeling ever.

Never give up and yes, sometimes, I have my breakdown when I put so much effort and it goes to drain so, what is missing? I learned and learning by doing is the most effective learn method.

Best I can say here and conclude, this is mylife!!

LOVE, LIVE AND LET DIE.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life...Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become.

-- Steve Jobs, Founder, Apple Computers

I have shared with you before on my previous article about how I value my life. Every time, I feel good about myself, I see beautiful things especially the air that I breaths and the morning breeze, the sun, the sky and the universe, the people.

I am blessed!

Every morning I wash my face and look at my image from the mirror, I wonder who is this woman? I can be a stranger to myself whenever I was not present and when I do not connect to my inner me. I would never know that if I have not looked deep inside. The only ways for me to be connected to myself is when I get so close to me. I could hear voice saying life is a miracle, and precious. Every minutes count. Everybody is important and I deserve to take myself important.

Every hardship that I have been through is to wiser me up so that, the learning that I received, I would love to share with the people that I care. I acknowledge that I learned life from a hard way. I do feell envy to the lucky one that has achieved what they want but, somehow or rather I think, I am the lucky one because I am in the mission; pursuit of happiness.

And it’s not the only me who embrace days with hope and dreams. Some of us get things done and got it! Some of us just chill and go with flow and received anything. And some other people, just survive and don’t care enough.

What am I standing for?

I care. I care what will happen to my life. I want to take action of my being and myself because I have ability to respond to it. It’s good sometimes, to be a victim. I just love the attention from the rest and then what? What is the learning that I get? And, I shall never get the learning if I still stay to be a victim and I am BIG enough to take responsibility of my words and action.

My point is, life meant nothing if we don’t take total control of our own life. If one day, we decide something important in our life, getting married for example, we ought to know the outcome and the consequences. This is what happen when I know who I am and what I want.

What is my vision?

I am a capable woman to love, to live and to inspire others. There is something I can offer to the world and to make it be a better place. How could I changeling the power which I have and to share with them? And the power that I have can be multiply to be power of 10 and can extend to the power of 100, 1000, 10,000 until beyond and infinity.

And this power is getting through knowledge. As I remember, the first sura believed to have been revealed at Mecca at cave Hira is also known as Sūrat al-Iqrā (إقرا, "Read").

In the name of God, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

Read in the name of your Lord , Who created-

Created man, out of a (mere) clot of congealed blood:

Proclaim! And thy Lord is Most Bountiful,-

He Who taught (the use of) the pen,-

Taught man that which he knew not.

Nay, but man doth transgress all bounds,

In that he looketh upon himself as self-sufficient.

Verily, to thy Lord is the return (of all).

Seest thou one who forbids-

A votary when he (turns) to pray?

Seest thou if he is on (the road of) Guidance?-

Or enjoins Righteousness?

Seest thou if he denies (Truth) and turns away?

Knoweth he not that Allah doth see?

Let him beware! If he desist not, We will drag him by the forelock,-

A lying, sinful forelock!

Then, let him call (for help) to his council (of comrades):

We will call on the angels of punishment (to deal with him)!

Nay, do not listen to him but bow down in adoration and bring thyself closer (to Allah)!

I received a comment from a friend, that seek knowledge from Al-Quran and you may read the interpretation if you don’t understand. I understand Al-Quran is my guidance and as a Muslim, it is my obligation to be connected to my religion, seek truth. What is true to me is what I have experienced. The experience that I have has built my belief based how I live my life and how I see the society and the world today.

The Quran to me, is not just other book, it’s a mukjizat where it’s alive. The Words of Wisdom out of it is created by the bigger force, Al-mighty God. I don’t judge, because judging only limit my power to share love and honesty.

Every day is a WOW-DAY!!!

People have opinion, the Scientist, the Ulama’ have opinions, we do research because, human being like us have desire to seek for knowledge and that is how we are actually evolve and moved out of our comfort zone. Only us can change and change start from within when the enlighten come and bright us with knowledge and hope that this knowledge can give positive and productively outcome so that can be benefits to others.

And this is totally not only a men’s job! It’s include, women. Never ever underestimate women’s power. It's all depend on what you committed to create and you will be surprise of the result!!

Stage of Dreamers.

Tammy Lim and Teh Hui Ying, both of them are dreamers. Which they have dreams and they make their dream come true.

Dream, and Do it!

31^st July 2011 will be another day that they shall never forget. I wrote this article dedicated to my beloved friend, Tammy.

I still remember when I was first connected to her, it was in middle of April 2011. We met at Asiaworks Basic Training. From the appearance, she is a tomboyish kinda girl. Tough. Well, she looks tough. Back then, I don’t know who she really was. But, knowing that she’s growing up with four brothers, I think I have a basic idea about her. However, she surprised me along the journey. The Power of Dreams

The event was successfully held at 3.00pm and finished at around 5.00pm in Auditorium of Kulai Foon Yew High School in Johor. I must admit that I was not very keen to travel from KL to Kulai, at first. And then, my brother saw her youtube advert about her recital on her Facebook wall. I never experience his this way! “Let’s go to Tammy and Hui Ying’s Recital!!” he suggested me with excitement. I was shocked and asked him again, “Seriously?!” He nodded eagerly and his face expression said, “YES!!!”

In my head, saying “Are you nuts?! You really willingly to drive that far? It’s only one day event that took less 3 hours of the time! Driving there is going to take more than 8 hours back and forth, and it’s on Sunday, the next day you have to work..bla bla bla..” I’m hearing my head whispered to myself. And then I stop thinking and start being conscience in what I am hearing and saying to myself. “Look, what’s possible here? What is more important right now? What is it that you want? You want to be there or not?! What’s with the consideration?”…In that 5 second, I made my decision!

“Ok! Let’s go!”

I will do whatever it takes so that I will be there. There must have been a very strong force or energy that made us feel that this journey is worth a million!! I put my intention to do it and let the universe works its way at the same time, enrolling other friends to go there is another challenge but hey, it’s Tammy’s Recital! It’s surely going to be excellent!!

That morning, we depart from KL at around 8.00am together with another 3 friends. Many things we shared on the journey, tips, stories, some bubu-moment and laughter, some insight out of the conversation and around 12.30pm, we arrived in Kulaijaya and another one friend from JB agreed to join in.

Once we reach the auditorium, I can felt the excitement to see what is recital all about. Target audience mostly are mandarin speaking and it does not stop us from participate and feel the excitement.

Music definitely is the language of the universe when everybody regardless race, language, culture, age, gender and religion was there to felt the energy of having a nice beautiful inspiring music played by two of our beloved friends.

From my own experience, what is so special about this recital is it’s reminded me that I am a dreamer. I have a dream and nothing in this world should ever change that. Dream BIG and I want to share one article that I read in the internet. http://www.dumblittleman.com/2008/08/5-reasons-why-dreamers-can-be-leaders.html . It’s amazing how the writer by his words, inspired me.

There are 5 reason why Dreamers and be Leaders.

1. Clarity of Vision. The only way one can realize his or her dream is only if there is a complete clarity of what is desired. If your vision of what you wish to achieve is blurred, you might never be able to realize your dream. A leader has to visualize a dream for touching the pinnacle of success.

2. Radical Thinking. A man with dreams is the closest to himself. His approach is very radical, pertaining to the roots. Since he understands his dream closely, he can connect with the majority. He can show the world a different way of thinking altogether by bringing new perspectives to life. Once he gets through to the people, he automatically becomes a leader.

3. Burning Desire. A dreamer has the advantage of an intense passion which can only grow for fulfilling what he wants. That desire itself makes him successful and keeps him alive as far as achieving his goals are concerned. It has the ability to motivate and inspire people as the burning passion can be seen in one’s eyes, leave alone work.

4. Reservoir of confidence and strength. A man’s dream is often so magical that it gives them immense confidence and strength which works not only for him but also people around him. When you know where you want to get and what you want to get, you will make the finest of decisions and would be willing to take risks in situations where people would not even dare to think about. Your attitude towards your dream would always be positive.

5. Pouring the heart. Last but not the least, one of the most important reasons of why dreamers can become leaders, pouring the heart into it. A man’s dream lies where his heart is.

People, human being without dream living life like a plastic bag. How would they view this life without having a BIG dream and where has the passion of life gone? Day dreaming don’t get you anywhere without action. So, let’s dream and make a difference.

I am sure that there is 400 audiences at Tammy’s recital and each one of them surely have many dreams. She, inspired me. She, make a stand to me and to the rest of her friends. Her being has been a remarkable. I want to fly like her. I have a lot of friends who have a dream. My family members, everybody have a dream. Make a stand of our dream. We just need to make it happen. Because we are leaders! We are fighters! And, definitely, a champion! A champion that shall never fade away!

So, don’t stop believing! Put the trust in yourself and your dream shall definitely be yours.

Fly and High ~

Sufi.

Aleesha Farhana: Not just Another Woman

Malaysian transsexual who lost name battle dies

A 25-year-old transsexual who lost a court battle in Muslim-majority Malaysia to change his name to that of a woman has died, a report citing heart problems said Sunday.

On July 18, a high court in conservative eastern Terengganu state ruled that a person's sex was determined at birth so Ashraf Hafiz Abdul Aziz could not change the name on his identity card to that of a female.

The Sunday Star newspaper said Ashraf was admitted to a hospital on Friday for low blood pressure and chest pains, having earlier suffered a bout of vomiting and dizzy spells.

Ashraf, a former pharmaceutical assistant who underwent a full sex-change operation in neighbouring Thailand in 2008, was born with an abnormally small penis, and died on Friday due to a heart problem, doctors said.

He was buried as a man according to Muslim rites.

Ashraf's mother Mah Yah, 50, said her only regret was that her child was not able to wear a pink Malay traditional costume -- baju kurung -- which Ashraf was excited to wear for the upcoming Eid festival.

"Ashraf was an extremely loving and good person," she said.

Al-Fatihah.

Not Just Another Woman.

She is a stranger to me. She might be just another person who has feeling and opinion. I don’t know her but, I can felt her being. Indeed she is an extremely loving and good woman. And I would like to add more about her, she is a respectful, courageous, honest, sincere, true and real woman.

Aleesha Farhana, I bet that’s her “real” name was. On 30^th July 2011, while the Government finally releases the PSM leaders due to Bersih 2.0, there is another event happened in front of Bar Council Building at around 8.00pm perhaps. I remember that because, I was cursing the massive traffic along the town road headed to Dataran Merdeka. My intention to go inside the town is to find the petrol station, if have any.

When I turn right before the Dataran Merdeka, I witness numbers of people around 20 of them, mix race and gender and they were holding candle and one picture of a lady wearing hijab. “She’s beautiful, but who is she? What happened to her? She died? Why?”I asked myself. Only the next day, I found out about it and I am feeling devastated as well, although this human being have no connection with me when she is still alive. I never knew her as what her family and friends experience her. There is news about her wanted to do the sex change before in a local newspaper and all she received is criticizing from the public just because she was born with a small penis, with a name of Ashraf Hafiz Abdul Aziz.

Woman & Sexuality.

I am born as a woman and I embrace every moment of it. Sometimes, I do ask myself what is I was born as a man? Would things will be different for me? What is it about sexuality? What do we understand about sexual? Is sex is a “sin” words in our community? Why aren’t we discuss about it openly and face our sexuality needs and right? Be connected and be true to our self, be comfortable about it.

Aleesha Farhana is just another example of a transsexual that faces the same issue in their life. Only be different that she took 3 step ahead by make an application to the Syariah Court Terengganu to change her birth name to her real name. It has been publicized by the media because of her bold action, the Court ruled that a person's sex was determined at birth and therefore, her application has been rejected.

Many of them, most probably had done sex change in oversea or in other country that allowed it by practice, and understand the consequences. I am sure, they must have thought about it very carefully and know about themselves more than anyone else. All they need in this life is a piece of mind and a lot of love for themselves to give and to share with others.

I am frustrated of what has happen. My point of view about transsexual wanted to exercise their right should not be stop. The law that has been made to suppress from exercising the life that they want and be who they are is injustice. There must be a medical research or about someone like her but, why don’t we be openly discussed about it?

Is it because of The Religion?

God Almighty create us, human perfectly and for someone like Aleesha Farhana, God put a little more time because she is special. For whatever reason that only God knows, she is here in this world with the purpose of testing us, testing our Iman. Let us really see things from a bigger view. As we all know, God create man with theit special biological belongings and same goes to the woman, perfectly. But, do we acknowledge that God do create khunsa? Why on earth God create someone is “middle”, born with 2 sexual organs with extra feminine hormone, perhaps.

She was born as a little boy and grew up knowing that there is a girl inside of her and when the time come, she decided that she is a woman. She is a true and real woman that she wanted to be. She faced up. She took that risk to do the sex change because she believed who she was inside. Or, maybe she is born woman but, their male hormones are dominant and she attracted to woman herself.

I am not an expert both in religion and also in medical terms to have discussed about this matter in details however, I have ability to respond to what had happen to her. The decision made by the Syariah Court Terengganu, personally for me it is obviously is foreseeable. If the Court still want to be in a comfort zone in making the decision especially with this “special” case without expended and look deep into ijtihad method discussing in details, what is much more important, and took different ways, I bet our Syariah Court will be one step higher than what is happening now.

A lot of Muslim country changing their Court decision and laws, hokum, because of the practitioner of the religion itself are being open and understand what is this religion really promotes. Goodness, fairness, justice, compassionate. This is what Islam are all about. Being human. So, why aren’t we do something about it. Aqidah started from within, the connection made between ourselves and God. Words of Shahadah means a lot to Muslim people but how many of us, really can feel it and understand what does it means? There is no God other than Allah, the Muhammad is the messenger.

Be righteous has caused one life. Another human being’s rights have been violated and we are OK with it? Silent is our Enemy.