Shopaholic??? Money vs. Values

by Sufi

I have a confession. I think , I might be a shopaholic. Or perhaps, you guys can help me whether I do have a symptom or potential to be a shopaholic.

This morning, one of my co-worker passed me one big plastic bag contained a few women product that I ordered from her (as her side-income) and, it cost me almost RM100. I noticed that all my previous workplace got at least one person who would take a product to the office and promotes it their co-worker and of course, being a supporter, I support them by buying their products. From cloths to accessories, or some MLM's product - e.g. food supplement; women wash; you name it. So, haha!! I rate myself 1 to 10 (10 is the bigger) as 8 that I am always.. "support" them to generate their income. :P

This afternoon, on my way to the cafeteria to get lunch at my workplace, there it was a booth of this Bank who promotes credit cards. My eyes were on the advert that shows good offer that I should not lose. I am tempted to approach one "agent" and to get more info. We have eye to eye contact but then again a voice shouts at my ears, "NO!!! you have 3 credit cards all ready!! You need to handle the debts first!! REMEMBER???!!!" Quickly I look somewhere else and focused on what I am to get for lunch. Uuhhhh..!! I squeezed my purse holding myself to be patient. Huhu!!

This evening, after work I went for a dinner with a few girlfriends (my BFFs) and we all chit chatting about how things going on in our life. One of our friend just come back from vacation from overseas. Wow!! And when I look at her glooming being when she shared her shopping experience, I shut my mind and I just hearing, "cheap! cheap! cheap! cheap! original! very nice! more choices! cheap! cheap! cheeeeeeeaappp....!" [*sounded like chipping birds..]

And then, later in evening, I realized that, I have spent half of this months salary just to pay my credit cards...uurrhhhggghhh... and it's not reduce much!! :( Uuuuhhhhhhh...

And so, I googled on How to Recognize Symptoms of Shopaholic. A British study states that 2-10% of adults tend to love shopping. In women, this trend increased 9 times larger than the male. (WHATTT???!!!! 9 times?? ) Well, do I have a tendency to be shopaholic? Consider the following signs:
1. You are very eager to discuss plans for shopping streets. If not able to make it happen in one week, you’ll be disappointed. [Yahhh..sometimes..(*still in denial)]
2. Your moods change frequently. When shopping, you’re excited. (Of course!!!!!!) However, your emotions can turn grim when the money you have or even exhausted.
(Auuuch!! You got me at Hello!!!!)
3. You see a wedding party or a party rather than as a moment to have fun, but as an excuse to shop for new clothes. (Errrrrrrmmmmm...ehem!! I better let my bf answer this..)

So, am I a shopaholic? Well, I like to shop.. I love branded stuff but, I'm not that obsess like the girl in that movie, "A confession of a Shopaholic". I'm just like the rest of you out there.. (you know..) Normal. :) define normal can be subjective and what I have learned here to accept that "hey, we women have taste!" hahaha!!

Anyway, I would love to add that what's count is the value of getting what we want. It's not just a scarf, it can a symbol to someone. It's not just spend money, it's investing! We invest to boost up our confident level, we invest to heal our emotional break down. We invest on something that shall improve our relationship with others. So, it's not just buying a thing but, to be able to see the value that come out from the things that we bought for our personal development.

You see?!

Anyway, be moderate. Be thoughtful. Be thankful.

To me, it doesn't matter women or men who got the highest statistic on "who loves to shop the most," just as long it brings good values to us and be wise. STOP! LOOK! CHOOSE! and VOTE!!

Love, Sufi.

Leap of Faith

25 June 2011 - The day that I shall never forget. Last weekend, I had the best experience in my whole life eveeeerrrrr!! Never thought that by standing at the edge of more than 100 metres height and jump can change the way I see my life and what is possible for me and the people that I care enough and love. I call this experience, as "Leap of Faith".

My Name is Sufi. I choose this Event.
The event took place at Sungai Itek, Perak we arrived there before 10am after traveling that morning from Asiaworks Training Center at around 7am. All together are 39, include our 6 Seniors, they called themselves Wild Rose.

It was conducted by the Nomad Adventure http://www.nomadadventure.com/ and the Trainer for this event is Mr. Jeffrey. He is soooo cool and inspired man. We started off by warming up and did the ground exercise, balancing our body, focusing the aims, and buiding up the teamworks. After lunch, the journey began and then, my worst nightmare come true..

My first challenge is to climb the 100 metres height tyres and string!! I told to my Buddy, Syuan and encourage her to go early because, I know the more I delayed, the more fear conquer me. So, fucked it!! Just do it!! I don't care enough about the possibility of falling. I am a Hypsiphobia- Fear of height. You guys can google here if you guys want to know more. http://phobialist.com/#H-

As I focused to be on top, I am strugling to lift my butt up and I'm cursing myself, why do I put so much weight. F*ck!! My butt is as heavy like a rock and I used my arms to pull me up. And I started to get tired. As I stop and I begin to cried. I hear a lot of voices, encouraging me not to stop. I'm cursing! I'm cursing!

Jay, the Coordinator-Terminator voices coach me to focus using my leg to move up. And start to focus and climb. It was aweful pain. The facilitator was waiting for me on the top still encouraging to move up further, "A bit more, Sufi. Just a bit more, Sufi." I beg him to pull my hand, "No Sufi. You can do it," And I told myself, "Yes sufi, YOU can do this sh**t!! If you can do this, you can do anything you want!!! Just move your butt up!!"

Next Challenge.
And I did it. And there is more to come. My heartbeat run so fast and I can hear it out loud. WTF!! My hand was sweating like water and I really want to pee my pants out. Next challenge is to cross to the next point walking on one single rope. The only thing that I can depand to is the hold rope hanging on top of me. Shhh****tttttt.. Thank goodness for the "hannes" and the "liferope" that connect between myself and the main cabel so that I won't fall if I slip.

First thing that come out from my mouth before crossing the rope is "I'M SCARED!!!!!!!" And YES, I am. Jay was, "What Sufi? You scared? Just do it and remember the exercise that we do this morning," I looked at the facilitator and he gives me tips how to cross this road. As I calmly crossed, my mind was everywhere and I strugling to balance myself and move forward, I move my right legs slow and steady forward and at the same time keep balance my body. Once I have the pase and I told myself, "one - two, one - two, one- two," and I'm all ready at the middle of the rope. Jay shouts, "There you go, you almost there, Sufi." Gosh, this is not bad, telling myself and I'm arrived.

Next Point.
Before I started my next challenge, I pause and asking myself how to do this? I can hear Jay was not stop shouting encourage me to just move forward. He started to irritates me somehow and it distract my focus and I do remember gives him signal for him to shut the f*cked up! Oh, yeah, and he got it. :P

I started to calm down and focused to the next challenge. Its required me to step on a wood hanging and a big gap to cross over, there is a rope hanging and I need to swing to get to the next step for me to move to the next point. I did it again. I manage to control my fear, so far it's been good. I'm hearing cheers from the supporters.

Flyiiiiiinnngggg...
The adrenalin starts to kicked it like hell and I love every moment. Keep telling myself to be brave, to have faith, to believe that I can do this challenge. And at the same time, I pray to God that things shall go smoothly. I feel relieved that I finally got to the last challenge. And the Facilitator just said to me to enjoy the ride. It was called the flying fox. I heard about it last time. All I need to do is just fly.. and up! Up! Weeeeeeeeeee........ Fantastic!! This is awesome, better than roller coster ride! Kawabanggaaaa!! Thank God there is someone special waiting and catch me at the other side..;P

When I looked back all the challenge that afternoon, hell NO I'm going to do it again. And then again, I proove myself that I conquer my worst nightmare. Still scare of height though. It's just don't stop me from achieving my goals.

Leap of Faith
And the ultimate challenge of the day is the Leap of Faith. Just imagine we climb the Tallest Durian Tree of more 100 metres height. Once I reach there, there is a ball (sepak raga ball) hanging, waiting to be slap. That ball symbolise my goal. I need to jump and with my left hand, I need to hit the ball. That's it.

So, as I climbing up all I'm thinking is my ultimate goal. What is so real to me and why this goal is important to me? What Goal mean? Why it is my goal - Desire? Compelling Desire? What do I want? So sudden, I have a vision of having my own family. :)

As I was standing on the platform and ready to jump. My focus is on the ball hanging. I set my mind on what I see beyond that ball, and when I am ready to leap, I gather one last strength and I scream out laud, "I want to have my oooowwwwwwwwnnnnnnnn familyyyyyyyyy...!!!!!!"

Yup! Everybody in the camp and the jungle heard it. Even God also heard my pray!! What's possible next is, "if it's to be, it's up to me," And, when my intention is clear, the path shall lead the way for both, me and him. I acknowledge of facing the risk. Risk that I am willing to take to make my dream come true. And in order for me to make my dream a reality I need to be something to contribute. I want to make my dream come true. I belief my dream shall be a reality and especially, I know I can count on him as well. I know that, it takes two to tango and, effective action are needed to make it happen. Sure, obstacle would love to drob bye say "hi!" and yes, I know, he knows that whatever happen, our will shall conquer all because, I will make sure that it is made by iron and not from plastic where we can recycle.

And this is one goal that I shall never let go.. To Be Love, To Do Love and To Have Love until the rest of my life and I know,me and him shall fly.. and we shall fly to the moon..