Stop. Look. Discover.

I acknowledge myself for taking the risk to see the ever possibility that I could achieve in this present of time. As I walk my journey, I have stop and ask myself, what is happening in mylife recently. How was my being with my loves one, my family, friends, the society, the animal. What is my belief about my religion, my country, my society and even about myself. There is a few learning I can conclude about myself; I am smart, courageous, loving, passionate and I can be anything that I wish to be. I took the opportunity to look deep into myself, going deeper into my heart and searching what else in this life that I could ever want? What else seems to be missing in my precious life? Am I very important that I know I can make a difference in this life? As I look deeper, I have discover what's bring meaning to mylife. HAPPINESS. What makes me be happy, what will it takes for me to create happiness and have the happiness in mylife. Since life has up and down to me, I tend to be the victim to money, to time, to the circumstances, to the consideration, to the belief that does not works for me, I have been a victim to myself. I have realized that I have been sabotaging my own life for not giving 100% to my best ability.

On 5th August 2012, our beloved Dato' Lee Chong Wei has shown his higher spirit and his greater love to the country. He create the togetherness for Malaysian in the 2012 Olympics. He didn't get the Gold for Badminton for us, however, his determination has moves us and make us proud. Thank you, Dato' Lee. Wishing you to achieve your highest achivement and long live in excellent. You will always be inspired and forever love.. And question to us, how many of us really gives 100% in our precious life and achived that breakthrough?

As I discover for more, I have been open, both my heart and mind to receive the enlightenment about life. About love. About giving. About blessing. About abundance. And I am grateful and I live today and I have widen my view of life. And I started by have a stop. look. As I inhale and exhale the breath that go into and through my body; I felt overwhelmed by the strengh and joy that celebrates beautiful and meaningful journey. I began to reflect every learning and reflect back in my past life and acknowledge everything happen to me has it own lesson and it's time for me to step to the left, and move forward for beyond the possibility and create happiness that I wishes for.

Thank you for this learning. It's time for more breakthrough ~ Lots of love. Hope. Trust. Faith. Sufi.

goodfriend that you can count on...

Do you still remember your childhood friends? The one that every evening would be around on the playground and play with you. How are they now? Married? or at the playground still playing with his or her kids? And when you starting your schooldays, primary and then secondary, how was your circle of friends. Did you still keep in touch with your schoolmate? Are you still hang around and have good time together like old school? Or, did you have a real goodfriend when you were growing up? How about time when you were in college and university? How would the friendship goes? Is it become more real? sincere? and genuine? What is friendship all about? And life moved on till you starts your career. Would you be counting on them?

I use to have a friend which I just have to talk to her, to update what's happening in ourlife. It can be good news, bad news, sad, frustration or even gossip about anything everything. We shares everything through hardship and happy moments. We were bestfriend like everybody would thought we were together. But, life goes on. She went her way. And I, moved on. It's hard to not having her around. Till now. My prayer is to wish that she is doing great and happy. I remember, I use to be around with people who fakes about their lives telling how cool and awesome they were. Impress me at first but, I know, being with them does not makes me real. I did't walk away because I was tempted to live in their lives. Act like them, be like them. I realize that I need to be myself and re-claim my life as how it suppose to be. I walk this journey with other friends who care enough and started a new friendship again. I would be gone mad if I didn't hear anything from her for so long. I had the opportunity to give love, trust and honesty in friendship. I am thankful that I have circle of friends that always there to support and to care. It's not hard to keep a friend if you making an effort to keep one. But, I do acknowledge some friends out there are just not worth it to keep. Sending them a lot of forgiveness and happiness. I miss having a good conversation with a friend - just talk about anything that uplifting and gives positive vibes with every sharing. Even with different point of view but, we acknowledge the power of knowledge. I love the way it is now. Sometimes, less is more. One thing I learn, if I am a good person, there will be good people around me. Negative friends would exist but, their presence makes no different to who I become. I do feel if I am clear of who I am, I have a control to select my circle of friends. Thank you to those friends who were there for your goodfriends. Friendship that matter most is the one who just know what is real. If you hanging around with fake friends, you will be fake also. Well, let's start have a believe that real friends exist because you are real, sincere and honest. just saying - Sufi.

Weddings ~ Love, Rules!!

Weddings has always makes me feel happy.. I am happy for my consins, my aunt and uncle, my fellow friends and everybody who is brave enough (hehe..) to step into the bigger and new horizon of their life.. Congratulation to those couple and I am honour to have been invited and attended their wedding ~

All wedding are lovely.. The couple and family are doing their best for the weddings, the preparation was excited and there is a lot of to-do-list and yet, we haven't go through the price of nowadays packages that include dresses, catering, gift for the guest, make up, photo, reception decoration, flower, and many more.. Bless them for all the hardwork and it is not an easy task.. Even, for some who preparing a simple weddings also can cost them up to RM10,000-00 or more but, I'm sure it is an event that they will never forget..

I am not yet married however, I won't lie to myself that one sweet day, there will be a wedding day for me and I dream of a simple wedding which will be attended by my beloved family and friends and blessing from both side, bride and groom's family.

I dream of a white wedding dress for the ceremony and just a plain gold ring engrave both his and my name. And the rest, I just want to let it go with the flow.. White lily and ocean breeze perfume candles.. soft wedding music and blessing.. lots of blessing..

Marriage ~

I wish and pray for a happy marriage with lots of laughter and happiness and hey, reality bites! It ain't happen if I didn't work for it ~ Scary! And yet, through friend's testimonial and eye-witness, I think, I can handle it.. *blushing*

And yet, my heart said the time shall arrived and remind me to be graceful and full acceptance to what may come.. I have found what I want deep down in my blooming heart.. I do feel complete and it's clear to me that I am in the right track.

Every step towards it make my heart felt overwhelmed..

I, Him and Us ~

And I know, he knows and God knows, If it's to be, it's up to us ~ Question is, whether both of us ready and brave enough to jump! and fly ~ and reaching for the stars *** Again, reality bites!!

I am holding myself, my heart, my sanity, my faith and my belief.. Please God, enlighten me with your grace and whisper me your guidance. Does love, rules?

I am in a mood for a romantic and it's a heart break to have been in a situation when I am not allowed to be with someone that I love. Love is not just a word. It's a being and the rest will come naturally. Wise man said, love is blind ~ Only fool rush in ~ and yet, that's make us, feel human. Love.. compassion.. peace..

May God bless us and the rest of our beautiful life. Although being with him, and choose to be with him can create a conflict for the rest of our life but, if its to be, and if its within our control, we shall do whatever it takes to make our wish and dream come true ~ If it makes us happy, our hope and wishes is just for a good blessing..

Love.

Myself and God ~

We have enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another.
-- Jonathan Swift

I am a born Muslim. A woman. I am bless for this life and the guidance. Thank you for the holy Quran ~ I remember my mom use to teach me reading the Quran and as I grew up, I learn how to pray and practice fasting every Ramadhan. There is a few do's and don't that my parents thought me about being a Muslim. For example, Muslim don't have a dog as a pet, Muslim don't eat pork and drinks alcohol. When I ask why? Because it's forbidden in Islam.

And I follow. I studied my religion at school, I learn about sirah how our Prophet received his first revelation and how Islam has become the most influential religion to most country. And I learn, I accept because I was told to follow what was in the Quran.. I never questioned why because I'm scared to cause sins. Ustazah said, Muslim who commit a lot of sins goes to hell. We must do good, be good and say good. At all time.

Islam is the right religion. Islam is the truth. And I accept. With all my heart. I believe there No God Except Allah, Muhammad is his messenger.

Recently I have asked myself what if I was not born as a Muslim. Would I be lucky enough to embrace life as it is? What makes me difference from the rest of the Muslim people in this world? Please forgive me God for having this thought ~ As I learn and experience life, through reading and observation, I am all the same with the rest. What makes me different from each other is how I value mylife, myself and everything around me. I need to be aware of what I'm thinking and feelings...

I enjoyed having my quality time with the nature and it is one way that makes me feel closer to God. I pray for guidance and peace at heart. And I do have question about life, about God, about human, about the Universe.. And this thought make me feel small and vulnarable and makes me believe that there is a bigger force that rules the life around us. And that is how I build my relationship with my God. Almighty God. I have the need to be closer to God and to make me feel attached. To be filled. Faith.

I guess, I really need to look up for more knowledge and better understanding about my God.

InsyaAllah ~

Read - And Free Your Mind

"Read!"

It is not an accident why in our Prophet - Muhammad S.A.W. when he received his first revelation (wahyu) the Angel ask him to read. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muhammad

I'm not going to tell you the whole story of the Revelation. However, I would like to share my opinion of the relevancy of the important of reading to what had happened to our student, recently.

Solidariti Mahasiswa Malaysia.

I once a "mahasiswa", a gradute from University of Malaya (UM) and I'm not a fan of Majlis Perwakilan Mahasiswa (MPM) where the election is held once a year) I did vote, naively believe that my vote can make a difference to the University and, it was hopeless, waste of time. There's not much of changing and many of us don't care enough about them. I somehow rather be outside living outside of University and only experience one year of staying in the hostel. It's horrible! I have to walk estimated 40 minutes from my hostel to my Faculty and the bus service was suck (at that time. I'm not sure how is it NOW). So, I give up on staying the hostel for the next semester (although I'm actively involved with their curriculum activities) and just sharing with another 9 students in one apartment.

Oh well, enough with the memory lane..

Early morning of 1st January 2012 is another event that I shall take note. Not because of the fireworks, silly! Because, 70 students include young people from many background decided that midnite to gather and to demonstrate at in front of University Perguruan Sultan Idris (UPSI), Tanjung Malim and their objective is to show to our current government that it's time for Academic Freedom.

Who is Solidiriti Mahasiswa Malaysia? Well, I did try to google their website or their blog, and this appeared, "This Site May Harm Your Computer," .. duh.. Anyway, from the local newspaper that I read, SMM sounded like a bunch of rebelious student and there is a lot of people have their own different opinion. Some impressed - good comment. Some angry and frustrated. Some don't care.

I remember Adam Adli, one of the member who lowered Najib's flag that was fluttering in front of PWTC building. When I read about it, I was amazed how daring this guy was. And many have salute him for his action and many have condemmed. I'm trying to understand why this student did that. Hurm.. he just want to give "feedback" to our current Prime Minister, "hey PM dude, you need to walk the talk,"

However to me, this group is potential to give influence to the policy maker in future IF only they do not take any side of many political party in Malaysia and manifest their objective according to their principle. They need to be free and neutral. Anyway, this is still an early stage of knowing what will happen to this group of student and how it's going to effect our next election in 2012. My concern is when they become influential, they become a body and shall require strong faundation and that is include financially. Who's going to fund them? *note to Solidarity of Indonesian Students*

Anyway, I do agree with Dr. Mahathir and he said that a student need to finish their studies before they want to be involved in politics. However, don't our student (above 18 years) also have a right to express their opinion about this beloved country and do whatever it takes to make sure the current Government listen to the People. Don't the student (above 21 years) have the right to vote? They, same like the rest of the citizen of Malaysia, have the ability to respond to what had happen to the Country and to the People. Why are they not allowed to exercise their right?! Why are their right been suppressed under Akta Udang-Undang Kolej & Universiti (AUKU).

Student Power

I read a lot during my studies years in UM. I read about human rights, democracy, separation of power, our history, our previous leader and that include leader from the opposition during our fight to freedom from the colonial rule, our Indepence Day, and many more. I read it not only for my exam but, because of the knowledge that I received.

One sweet day, these students are going to be an educator in future and maybe at this moment, they realized something valueable for themselves and they are fight for their freedom! Their freedom to educate the next generation accordingly and not according to the current government's policy.

How many policy have we experience since Independence Day? Everytime when the UMNO Prime Minister changed, they develop a new policy, i.e: Dasar Pandang Ke Timor, Dasar Penswastaan, Dasar Economi Baru, and many more. And our current Prime Minister now is promoting Dasar Tansformation and 1Malaysia. It's really sounds nice for advertising and what is the action plan? And congratulation on our precious Peaceful Assembly Bi(u)ll****!!

Come on, give us a break!! Give the student a break!! Should I go further to our current Education System?

How are we(the fellow citizen and our learned student) going to have an independent mind, thought and opinion? Why aren't we be allowed to exercise our right under the Federal Constitution? What kind of news that our mainstream media have been shove to our mind? It's full of racism, defamation, crap, lies and manipulation!!

This is why we need to read between the line. Read it using our better understanding about what is right and what is wrong, and using our heart to identified the truth and not blindly accept anybody who said so and so without think.

So, yeah.. I salute those people who stand by the truth, say the truth and nothing but the truth ~

“I'm worried that students will take their obedient place in society and
look to become successful cogs in the wheel - let the wheel spin them around as
it wants without taking a look at what they're doing. I'm concerned that
students not become passive acceptors of the official doctrine that's handed
down to them from the White House, the media, textbooks, teachers and preachers”
― Howard Zinn

525 600 minutes of 2011

2012 is coming soon and i love to open a new chapter, new beginning and a new spirits.. 2011 has been the wildest ride so far and I'm craving for more..

I learned so many in 2011 and met many empowered and inspiring people. I make a few mistake, and took the lesson. I loss some and I gain more. I gave and I received. I look forward for 2012 and big things are coming and I am ready to face it.

There is a few moment when I feel clueless about my life in relating with my love life and my work life. Sometimes, I do feel hopeless and have my breakdown due to many challenges and difficulties that I'm facing but, that have make me grow bigger and wiser.

Things that happened unexpectedly and it's amazing that I'm still alive and happy. This is because of the support that I received from friends and family. I feel thankful and grateful that every challenges has turn out, fine. Every small things, count. And bless everyone that have been there for me, stand up and make a difference to my life.

My highest peek of my life for this year is during three months period of 'Leadership Program' of AsiaWorks that I attend from May - August. It's surely have bring out the best of me and I have acknowledge myself that I am capable to do things that I thought I never will have it.

During that time, I have prove to myself that I can lose 10 kilos, play guitar and be a writer and have my own blog. It sounds simple and many people have done it and did it well. So, why is this important to me? Because it makes me realize things which I told myself that "I can't" is a myth. And all this time, I have ask myself a wrong question.

And what is the most important question for me is, "What Do I Want?" At first when a friend asked me, "What do you want, Sophie?" I feel awkward because, I'm just not sure what I want or basically, I don't believe that I can have what I want. And he keep repeating that same question and I feel annoyed, and become angry, frustrated. And when this question keep repeating to my head, it hits me to my heart and soul. And tears just drop.

There is a few things that I want in my life, the one that makes me feel complete. I want to take control of my life. I want to be able to do things that makes me happy. I want to have my own freedom of thought and opinion. I want to have freedom to love.. I want to have "fireworks" in my life. I want to shine and just be who I am.

For me, money and material is just a tools and the end product is the value that I have gain. I keep telling my self that I don't have enough source (e.i. money) to get what I want but, as I learn to appreciate every single thing around me, I have enough. I tell myself that I am in progess of getting what I want. It helps me to be patient and to be focus.

I learn to listen to my inner self and how to love myself and that is the biggest discovery. And I don't have to be perfect and have all the money in the world to be happy. My 525 600 minutes is worth living for 2011.

And I look forward for another 525 600 minutes to live, to love and to learn...

http://youtu.be/HcSDli-Byn8

Let's Walk Hand In Hand

Yesterday is another day to be remembered by all of us Malaysian and kudos to Malaysian Bar to make this stand to opposed the Peaceful Assembly Act 2011 Bill. Although that the Malaysian Parliament passed the law, (as I expected - 2/3 majority Barisan National MP's lah!)

Some people support the Bill, some people against it, some just don't give a damn!

But hey, we live in a Democracy country, which the voice of people need to be heard. Regardless whether you are from the majority or minority's, your voice counted and must be heard. With this law and the way it has been conduct and when we read through it, our conscience were itching telling us "hey, this is not right," And let us exercise our ability to respond because we can. We can exercise our right to freedom of speech, in good faith of course.. even if you have something stupid to say...

According to our Federal Constitution article 10, guarantees Malaysian citizens has the right to freedom of speech, freedom of assembly and freedom of association. However, we do not live 100% fully to our Constitution because of 1001 reason that has been made by our current Government. And this Act is surely, or seems to be (or at least to most of us who READ and UNDERSTAND what is the Federal Constitution) knows that this Act is just another Draconian Law same as the ISA and the rest of other related existing act.

Recently, there is an event for the minority to voice out their concern and worries, Sexuality Merdeka 2011. And yet, their right has been taken away. SEXUALITY MERDEKA WAS BANNED! Thanks to Ibrahim Ali, Perkasa Leader. Being typical Melayu, anything related to SEX, GAY, HOMOSEXSUAL is just another juicy stuff to gossip into without really understand what is it anyway. Simply want to make so much noise without really understand what is that event are all about. And then, judging and discriminate. It's easy to punish people because they think they have "power". So sudden, some so-called Leader make a statement saying that Homosexuality is unconstitutional. Note to that statement, "Don't simply use the word of "UNCONSTITUTIONAL" if you don't know what "Constitution" means because, it sounds stupid and yet funny when it you say out loud!

Drama! Drama! Drama! Being Melayu, we just loves watching Drama, kan?

I'm just a simple humble lay person with Law background education, another Malaysian Citizen and registered voter. I am NOW proudly use my right to express my frustration and my deepest sympathy to our beloved Prime Minister, that this two ways relationship between Leaders=Rakyat as what you have been proposed or promoting (transformation thingy) is not working because the real transformation thingy that is suppose to happen is not happening. You just lost ONE vote. Opps..

I have hope that one day, our Prime Minister could be someone like Nelson Mandela, Aung Sann Suu Kyi, Martin Luther King Jr. Dalai Lama, and many more Leader who sacrifice their whole life to uphold the right of the people. Nothing more important to have Leader using their REASON and COMMON SENSE, genuinely uphold what their human conscience whispered... regardless their race, religion and gender.

I have a dream that one day, Malaysia have a leader who protects the right of the Rakyat as a whole and put the Rakyat on top of their heads. Let us walk hand in hand to make sure the voice of all Rakyat Malaysia even animal and our forest will be heard and together we build the nation where reason and common sense arise!!

Let us sending lots of love, compassion and positive vibes to our future... Let's spread good by exercise words of kindest. Being aware that the changes always starts from within... If we want to see the Changes, Be the change.

I love you Malaysia. Forever.

Love,

Sufi.