525 600 minutes of 2011

2012 is coming soon and i love to open a new chapter, new beginning and a new spirits.. 2011 has been the wildest ride so far and I'm craving for more..

I learned so many in 2011 and met many empowered and inspiring people. I make a few mistake, and took the lesson. I loss some and I gain more. I gave and I received. I look forward for 2012 and big things are coming and I am ready to face it.

There is a few moment when I feel clueless about my life in relating with my love life and my work life. Sometimes, I do feel hopeless and have my breakdown due to many challenges and difficulties that I'm facing but, that have make me grow bigger and wiser.

Things that happened unexpectedly and it's amazing that I'm still alive and happy. This is because of the support that I received from friends and family. I feel thankful and grateful that every challenges has turn out, fine. Every small things, count. And bless everyone that have been there for me, stand up and make a difference to my life.

My highest peek of my life for this year is during three months period of 'Leadership Program' of AsiaWorks that I attend from May - August. It's surely have bring out the best of me and I have acknowledge myself that I am capable to do things that I thought I never will have it.

During that time, I have prove to myself that I can lose 10 kilos, play guitar and be a writer and have my own blog. It sounds simple and many people have done it and did it well. So, why is this important to me? Because it makes me realize things which I told myself that "I can't" is a myth. And all this time, I have ask myself a wrong question.

And what is the most important question for me is, "What Do I Want?" At first when a friend asked me, "What do you want, Sophie?" I feel awkward because, I'm just not sure what I want or basically, I don't believe that I can have what I want. And he keep repeating that same question and I feel annoyed, and become angry, frustrated. And when this question keep repeating to my head, it hits me to my heart and soul. And tears just drop.

There is a few things that I want in my life, the one that makes me feel complete. I want to take control of my life. I want to be able to do things that makes me happy. I want to have my own freedom of thought and opinion. I want to have freedom to love.. I want to have "fireworks" in my life. I want to shine and just be who I am.

For me, money and material is just a tools and the end product is the value that I have gain. I keep telling my self that I don't have enough source (e.i. money) to get what I want but, as I learn to appreciate every single thing around me, I have enough. I tell myself that I am in progess of getting what I want. It helps me to be patient and to be focus.

I learn to listen to my inner self and how to love myself and that is the biggest discovery. And I don't have to be perfect and have all the money in the world to be happy. My 525 600 minutes is worth living for 2011.

And I look forward for another 525 600 minutes to live, to love and to learn...

http://youtu.be/HcSDli-Byn8

Let's Walk Hand In Hand

Yesterday is another day to be remembered by all of us Malaysian and kudos to Malaysian Bar to make this stand to opposed the Peaceful Assembly Act 2011 Bill. Although that the Malaysian Parliament passed the law, (as I expected - 2/3 majority Barisan National MP's lah!)

Some people support the Bill, some people against it, some just don't give a damn!

But hey, we live in a Democracy country, which the voice of people need to be heard. Regardless whether you are from the majority or minority's, your voice counted and must be heard. With this law and the way it has been conduct and when we read through it, our conscience were itching telling us "hey, this is not right," And let us exercise our ability to respond because we can. We can exercise our right to freedom of speech, in good faith of course.. even if you have something stupid to say...

According to our Federal Constitution article 10, guarantees Malaysian citizens has the right to freedom of speech, freedom of assembly and freedom of association. However, we do not live 100% fully to our Constitution because of 1001 reason that has been made by our current Government. And this Act is surely, or seems to be (or at least to most of us who READ and UNDERSTAND what is the Federal Constitution) knows that this Act is just another Draconian Law same as the ISA and the rest of other related existing act.

Recently, there is an event for the minority to voice out their concern and worries, Sexuality Merdeka 2011. And yet, their right has been taken away. SEXUALITY MERDEKA WAS BANNED! Thanks to Ibrahim Ali, Perkasa Leader. Being typical Melayu, anything related to SEX, GAY, HOMOSEXSUAL is just another juicy stuff to gossip into without really understand what is it anyway. Simply want to make so much noise without really understand what is that event are all about. And then, judging and discriminate. It's easy to punish people because they think they have "power". So sudden, some so-called Leader make a statement saying that Homosexuality is unconstitutional. Note to that statement, "Don't simply use the word of "UNCONSTITUTIONAL" if you don't know what "Constitution" means because, it sounds stupid and yet funny when it you say out loud!

Drama! Drama! Drama! Being Melayu, we just loves watching Drama, kan?

I'm just a simple humble lay person with Law background education, another Malaysian Citizen and registered voter. I am NOW proudly use my right to express my frustration and my deepest sympathy to our beloved Prime Minister, that this two ways relationship between Leaders=Rakyat as what you have been proposed or promoting (transformation thingy) is not working because the real transformation thingy that is suppose to happen is not happening. You just lost ONE vote. Opps..

I have hope that one day, our Prime Minister could be someone like Nelson Mandela, Aung Sann Suu Kyi, Martin Luther King Jr. Dalai Lama, and many more Leader who sacrifice their whole life to uphold the right of the people. Nothing more important to have Leader using their REASON and COMMON SENSE, genuinely uphold what their human conscience whispered... regardless their race, religion and gender.

I have a dream that one day, Malaysia have a leader who protects the right of the Rakyat as a whole and put the Rakyat on top of their heads. Let us walk hand in hand to make sure the voice of all Rakyat Malaysia even animal and our forest will be heard and together we build the nation where reason and common sense arise!!

Let us sending lots of love, compassion and positive vibes to our future... Let's spread good by exercise words of kindest. Being aware that the changes always starts from within... If we want to see the Changes, Be the change.

I love you Malaysia. Forever.

Love,

Sufi.

Maarraaaaatthhhoonn....??!!

aku, harvey and daniel

LP 145

aku, dia dan medal - berbaloi lari 10km

menyibuk betul... hahahahaha!! tapi, dia lah yang paling disayangi...

berehat lepas lari....

Oh, wow..!! Dah lama aku tak update my blog. Macam-macam dah berlaku..tak tahu nak update yang mana dulu..

Baru-baru ni, aku join Marathon. Putrajaya Night Marathon. Run for 10km for the first time. First time join marathon with budak2 consti Bar Council - 5km jer. itu pun naik semput sebab tak gi training. So, this time, aku bertekad nak habiskan marathon for 10km. fuh! nasib baik cik abang dgn besfren cik abang aku pun join sekali.. tak de laa boring kan? malam2 pulak tu.. tapi, memang happening dan best sekali. budak2 asiawork - LP145 pun join sekali, tapi, dorang lari untuk 5km jer. ada dua orang yang lari untuk half marathon. pergghh.. tabik!

Anyway, masa mula2 nak run for the marathon tu punyalah semangat. Really, rasa macam hebat giler nak lari for 10km tapi, bila time dah sampai.. adoyai.. belasah jer laaa.. mak aih.. punyalah ramai orang kat Putrajaya.. aku pun rasa excited tapi, cik abang aku tu byk pulak bunyinya tapi, aku diamkan jer laa.. kang kalau aku kutuk2, half way aku "pancit", dorang gelakkan aku plak..

Anyway, nasib baik ada daniel.. ceria sikit laa marathon malam tu.. dia ni berat orangnya tapi, aku tahu dia boleh habiskan marathon saje dia buat ngada-ngada nak teh tarik laa.. rokok laa.. tapi, baguslah dia ada nak buat lawak.. usik2 awek2 dan kakak2 yang berusaha sungguh nak habiskan marathon.

So, sekarang ni dah jadi giler marathon.. ehehehe.. this week ada marathon eh.. walkathon kat the Curve. Awareness untuk orang utan. Support the cause laa sambil2 menderma.. hurm.. menarik gak dapat join activiti2 yang menyihatkan macam ni.. tak de lah asyik melepak depan tv dan membesarkan badan.. hahaha.. :)

Baru2 ni, ada member ajak gi marathon kat dataran merdeka. itu pun mesti syok... hehehe.. tengah bersemangat.. bolehlah join.. nnt kalau dah malas.. adoyaiii.. ish! tak boleh malas! I need to keep fit and stay fit.. lalala..

Sayonara!!!

Merdeka!! Or Merdeka??!

Tanggal 31 Ogos 2011, Malaysia menyambut hari kemerdekaannya yang ke-54. I don't really keen about it because of hari raya celebration. Lagipun, there is nothing to celebrate if we don't really understand why independent during 1957 is very important to the Malaysian and to the youth especially to the next generation? Or, is it just another public holiday. Lagi satu public holiday yang bakal disambut ialah 16 September 2011. Hari Malaysia.

Pada tahun 16 September 1963, Tanah Melayu, Sabah, Sarawak, Singapore telah bergabung menjadi Malaysia. Sebelum itu, pelbagai drama yang berlaku. Brunei tak jadi be part of Malaysia. Singapore pula dah keluar dari Malaysia. So, yang tinggal Semenanjung Malaysia, Sabah, Sarawak jelah. Hurm, sepanjang aku hidup ni, tak pernah lagi aku kunjungi Malaysia Timur lagi. Insyaallah.

Sejak kebelakangan ni, banyak suara-suara politik yang membangkitkan isu nasionalis. Salah satu isu yang hangat membahang ialah pasal PKM, Parti Komunis Malaya. Aku suka sejarah masa zaman persekolahan dulu dan aku gemarkan subjek itu bukan semata-mata kerana SPM tetapi, aku rasa inilah bangsa aku. Aku bangsa Malaysia yang berketurunan Melayu dan sejarah memberitahu asal usul dan di mana titik permulaan bagaimana bangsa aku dibentuk.

Aku tak peduli dari mana keturunan nenek moyang kita berasal. Bak kata pepatah Melayu, di mana bumi dipijak, di situ langit dijunjung. Menurut bapa aku, nenak moyang aku berasal dari Jawa. Jawa tu terletak dalam rumpun Melayu. Dari penghijrahan nenek moyang dari kepulauan Jawa datang ke Tanah Melayu, lantas membina kehidupan baru dan mencorak sejarah mereka sendiri dengan membawa budaya dan cara hidup sehingga memberi pengaruh terhadap generasi masa sekarang.. dan masa depan.

So, aku bercakap melalui pengalaman dan pengamatan menerusi kanta mata aku dan menilai melalui pemahaman aku sebagai seorang yang dilahirkan dan dibesarkan dalam keluarga berbangsa Melayu dan hidup bermasyarakat dengan pelbagai kaum dan bangsa. Dan, aku bangga jadi rakyat Malaysia. Merdeka kita bagi aku ialah bebas dari perintah dan penjajahan Inggeris.

Namun, soalnya kini.. bebas lagikah kita dari kemelut sebenar yang sentiasa menghantui kita? Bebaskah kita dalam mencari kebenaran? Bebaskah kita dalam mencapai apa yang kita impikan untuk kita dan bangsa kita?

Aku tidak ada jawapan yang konkrit untuk soalan yang diutarakan. Aku masih mencari apa yang benar bagi aku. Apa yang aku tahu, hanya orang yang berani menghadapi kebenaran akan menjumpai apa yang diingini. Hanya orang yang tabah dan cekal mengharungi dan berusaha mendapatkan apa yang diimpikan.

Semakin besar harapan kita, semakin besar cabaran yang datang... Soalnya, apa yang kita mahukan secara keseluruhannya. What is our common goal as Malaysian? Merdeka?!! (garu kepala) or Merdeka!!!

Salam Lebaran 2011

Bulan Syawal bakal menjelma dan Ramadhan bulan barakah akan berlalu..

Sekejap betul masa berlalu.. Minggu depan dah nak raya.. Persiapan hari raya satu apa pun tak buat lagi. Aku rasa macam baru sekejap jer puasa bulan Ramadhan ni, tak puas rasanya nak solat Terawih. Bazar Ramadhan pun tak kunjung selalu. Makan jer apa yang mak masak. Kadang-kadang, bila teringin barulah pergi beli murtabak ataupun ayam percik.. Bila jalan-jalan Bazar pun, tak rasa terliur mana pun sebab, dah namanya "on diet".. :P

Bila cakap pasal nak raya ni, aku rasa sebak sikit sebab, tahun ni raya tanpa arwah atuk di Gopeng. Tiap-tiap tahun, mesti balik ke kampung. Sekarang ni.. entahlah.. suasana tentu tak semacam dulu lagi.. Biar pun sambutan hari raya sentiasa sederhana tetapi, perasaan kasih sayang antara sanak saudara sangat terasa..

Tertanya juga aku, kalau misalnya beraya di luar negara, apa laa perasaannya? Mesti lagi sayu kan? Adoyai... Aku tak pernah lagi beraya jauh dari keluarga kecuali Raya Haji. Sebab, cutinya pendek. Tak balik kampung. Tahun ni, cuti raya seminggu. Ofis aku pun tutup kedai seminggu. So, pendek kata, memang beraya sakan laa..

Tapi, aku tak rasa apa excited sangat pun tahun ni, baju raya pun pakai yang dah dulu-dulu punya sebab.. hahahaha.. baju 2 tahun lepas dah boleh pakai.. syiookknyaa.. dah lose weight ni kan, baju yang baru beli dah longgar. So, boleh dah pakai baju saiz M yang dari zaman dulu-dulu. Hahaha.. Anyway, tak boleh riak sangat kan sebab nantinya bila dah raya nanti, pergi open house sana-sini, dah kembali ke saiz L. Ish! Ish! Ish!

Buat haru biru jer.. Alahai.. duit raya laa.. Hurm.. nak kena located a sum of money for my anak buah and mak-mak sedara yang lain. Hehe.. moga-moga murah rezeki.. Erm.. dah besar panjang cam ni mana nak dapat duit raya lagi ek?

Kuih raya semua main tunjuk-tunjuk dan order. Mana lah ada masa nak duduk uli tepung bagai juadah tu.. Semua nak cepat jer.. Oredi made! Memang tak de hati laa nak buat.. Kalau rajin pun, maybe nak buat biskut cornfleks dgn madu. Tu jer! :P

Kad Raya? Huhu.. baru dapat sekeping. Itupun, dari SIS. So, cam ner? Aku pun tak teringat nak pos kat kawan-kawan.. Cam ner beb, semua pakai facebook, digital and SMS jer, kan? Hurm.. entahlah.. Raya dulu dah lain dengan raya sekarang ni.. Adakah kerana faktor umur? And dah tak dapat duit raya lagi? Tak jugak aku rasa.. Tapi, if it's to be, it's up to me what?

Anyway, kemeriahan hari raya tu bagi aku adalah terpulang kepada individu itu tersebut. Raya tahun ni, bagi aku lebih menjurus kepada keinsafan. Bila aku kenang semula, aku rasa bersyukur kerana aku ada ibu bapa yang masih lagi hidup dan aku masih boleh berjasa kepada mereka. Adik beradik yang aku boleh harap. Anak-anak buah yang menjadi penyambung harapan.

Maaf. Sekiranya ada terkasar bahasa atau tak berbahasa yang bisa menyinggung perasaan para sahabat. Maaf dari hati yang tulus ikhlas. Aku hanya insan biasa. Semoga lebaran ini membawa seribu makna kepada semua..

Salam Sayang,

Sufi.

What's Next?

After 3 months journey of uplifting and breakdown, most probably we wonder what's next for us? What's next for me?

Through this journey, I have found so many miracles and obstacles. I learned by doing and I'm doing by being.. A lot of things has come to me and I felt overwhelm by the experience that I have gone through..

Forever I shall remembered friends and loves one come together and be as One Heart, One World with Boundless Possibility.

Those who gives and receives play an important role for each one of us to win and achieve what we aiming for. This journey has reminded me how excited my life is. Every minute counts and every love has cherished and shared.

This last three months has make me realize that if it's to be, it's up to me. If I want to play safe without empower myself to work extra harder, my level of comfort zone shall remain the same. Where is the streach on that?

The bigger my streach is, the powerful I may become. And power is something that I create and I have experience the moment where I have been focus in where, it's all about me, me, me and I have not move forward. And the moment I focus out to the sky, to reach out to my surrounding, I am flying.. and flying high!

The feeling is so good! I felt awesome everytime I have reach my breakthrough.. All I need to do is to be grounded and be focus in what I wish to create. most of the time, I create love, love, and so much love.. The more I give love, the more I received.

Thank you so much for this opportunity, Sufi. So, what's next for you, dear?

I am flying off to overseas, to learn, to discover, to live, to establish, to love, to earn, to bless, to care, to connect, to teach, to trust, to give, to receives, to dream..

Love,

Sufi GLP145.

Knowing Your Sexuality and Live Happily Ever After ~

Recent news about lesbian chinese couple married at Batu Pahat cought me by surprise however, I really happy for them. Both of them surely know who they were and what do they want which most of us, (straight people) often get confused.



Anyway, I am totally open about LBGT community, although not much about them I knew except for the myth and my observation. However, I do find that they also have feelings. So what if there have different taste from "normal" people, what matter is of course the intention and their pure desire.



Who can choose love? When someone decided that he is in love with someone regardless of race, religion or sex, he knew it's coming from a true heart. Taking that big step to acknowledge how important their feelings are at the same time, we respect each other.



I know that I do attracted to beautiful girl but, to be in love and to have relationship with girls I doubt it because, I am bleassed to have the most increadeble man and I adore him every second. But, hey.. things might be different one day, I might turn out to be biseksual and he is okey with it or vice-versa. Oops!



Anyway, sex and sexuality is two different things. Having sex and making love is also in between one thin line. Sex is unpredictable. The thing about us, (Malaysian) we have not be open to discuss about sex because sex is always misinterpreted as being immoral, and this is because of the human act itself.



Doing Sex and Being Sex.. Uuuhhh.. interesting thought!! What about it?! Should I go further about it? Curiousity kill the cat. However, have a look and be sensible about people who choose to love same sex. What are they thinking when they decide that? Is it because of the hormone?



Honestly, at first I do have a goosebumb and uneasy feeling especially when I have witness some PDA thingy by the LGBT among themselves. My believe said, this is SIN! Not normal! Against natural law!! However, I opened up. I stop having that believe, I look at the situation and the possibility of having mutual understanding and respect, I choose to have that understanding and respect their being and I vote, I stand by LGBT community.



I have a situation before this, where my friend come to me and said, her husband left her because of one hot transgender. I was shocked that the husband prefer a trans over a woman but then, I stop and be aware of what was I'm thinking. So, should I reacted differently if the third person is a natural born woman? Of course not so, I should not over reacted about who is the third person is right? The doing is matter not the gender. So what if the husband finally decided that he is a gay, and if the third person is a HE, still the same. My advise to the woman, do the necessary things of what the Family Law has provided in getting her right, divorce or maintenance and blessed him that he is finally live happily ever after!



Love,

Sufi.