Weddings ~ Love, Rules!!

Weddings has always makes me feel happy.. I am happy for my consins, my aunt and uncle, my fellow friends and everybody who is brave enough (hehe..) to step into the bigger and new horizon of their life.. Congratulation to those couple and I am honour to have been invited and attended their wedding ~

All wedding are lovely.. The couple and family are doing their best for the weddings, the preparation was excited and there is a lot of to-do-list and yet, we haven't go through the price of nowadays packages that include dresses, catering, gift for the guest, make up, photo, reception decoration, flower, and many more.. Bless them for all the hardwork and it is not an easy task.. Even, for some who preparing a simple weddings also can cost them up to RM10,000-00 or more but, I'm sure it is an event that they will never forget..

I am not yet married however, I won't lie to myself that one sweet day, there will be a wedding day for me and I dream of a simple wedding which will be attended by my beloved family and friends and blessing from both side, bride and groom's family.

I dream of a white wedding dress for the ceremony and just a plain gold ring engrave both his and my name. And the rest, I just want to let it go with the flow.. White lily and ocean breeze perfume candles.. soft wedding music and blessing.. lots of blessing..

Marriage ~

I wish and pray for a happy marriage with lots of laughter and happiness and hey, reality bites! It ain't happen if I didn't work for it ~ Scary! And yet, through friend's testimonial and eye-witness, I think, I can handle it.. *blushing*

And yet, my heart said the time shall arrived and remind me to be graceful and full acceptance to what may come.. I have found what I want deep down in my blooming heart.. I do feel complete and it's clear to me that I am in the right track.

Every step towards it make my heart felt overwhelmed..

I, Him and Us ~

And I know, he knows and God knows, If it's to be, it's up to us ~ Question is, whether both of us ready and brave enough to jump! and fly ~ and reaching for the stars *** Again, reality bites!!

I am holding myself, my heart, my sanity, my faith and my belief.. Please God, enlighten me with your grace and whisper me your guidance. Does love, rules?

I am in a mood for a romantic and it's a heart break to have been in a situation when I am not allowed to be with someone that I love. Love is not just a word. It's a being and the rest will come naturally. Wise man said, love is blind ~ Only fool rush in ~ and yet, that's make us, feel human. Love.. compassion.. peace..

May God bless us and the rest of our beautiful life. Although being with him, and choose to be with him can create a conflict for the rest of our life but, if its to be, and if its within our control, we shall do whatever it takes to make our wish and dream come true ~ If it makes us happy, our hope and wishes is just for a good blessing..

Love.

Myself and God ~

We have enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another.
-- Jonathan Swift

I am a born Muslim. A woman. I am bless for this life and the guidance. Thank you for the holy Quran ~ I remember my mom use to teach me reading the Quran and as I grew up, I learn how to pray and practice fasting every Ramadhan. There is a few do's and don't that my parents thought me about being a Muslim. For example, Muslim don't have a dog as a pet, Muslim don't eat pork and drinks alcohol. When I ask why? Because it's forbidden in Islam.

And I follow. I studied my religion at school, I learn about sirah how our Prophet received his first revelation and how Islam has become the most influential religion to most country. And I learn, I accept because I was told to follow what was in the Quran.. I never questioned why because I'm scared to cause sins. Ustazah said, Muslim who commit a lot of sins goes to hell. We must do good, be good and say good. At all time.

Islam is the right religion. Islam is the truth. And I accept. With all my heart. I believe there No God Except Allah, Muhammad is his messenger.

Recently I have asked myself what if I was not born as a Muslim. Would I be lucky enough to embrace life as it is? What makes me difference from the rest of the Muslim people in this world? Please forgive me God for having this thought ~ As I learn and experience life, through reading and observation, I am all the same with the rest. What makes me different from each other is how I value mylife, myself and everything around me. I need to be aware of what I'm thinking and feelings...

I enjoyed having my quality time with the nature and it is one way that makes me feel closer to God. I pray for guidance and peace at heart. And I do have question about life, about God, about human, about the Universe.. And this thought make me feel small and vulnarable and makes me believe that there is a bigger force that rules the life around us. And that is how I build my relationship with my God. Almighty God. I have the need to be closer to God and to make me feel attached. To be filled. Faith.

I guess, I really need to look up for more knowledge and better understanding about my God.

InsyaAllah ~

Read - And Free Your Mind

"Read!"

It is not an accident why in our Prophet - Muhammad S.A.W. when he received his first revelation (wahyu) the Angel ask him to read. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muhammad

I'm not going to tell you the whole story of the Revelation. However, I would like to share my opinion of the relevancy of the important of reading to what had happened to our student, recently.

Solidariti Mahasiswa Malaysia.

I once a "mahasiswa", a gradute from University of Malaya (UM) and I'm not a fan of Majlis Perwakilan Mahasiswa (MPM) where the election is held once a year) I did vote, naively believe that my vote can make a difference to the University and, it was hopeless, waste of time. There's not much of changing and many of us don't care enough about them. I somehow rather be outside living outside of University and only experience one year of staying in the hostel. It's horrible! I have to walk estimated 40 minutes from my hostel to my Faculty and the bus service was suck (at that time. I'm not sure how is it NOW). So, I give up on staying the hostel for the next semester (although I'm actively involved with their curriculum activities) and just sharing with another 9 students in one apartment.

Oh well, enough with the memory lane..

Early morning of 1st January 2012 is another event that I shall take note. Not because of the fireworks, silly! Because, 70 students include young people from many background decided that midnite to gather and to demonstrate at in front of University Perguruan Sultan Idris (UPSI), Tanjung Malim and their objective is to show to our current government that it's time for Academic Freedom.

Who is Solidiriti Mahasiswa Malaysia? Well, I did try to google their website or their blog, and this appeared, "This Site May Harm Your Computer," .. duh.. Anyway, from the local newspaper that I read, SMM sounded like a bunch of rebelious student and there is a lot of people have their own different opinion. Some impressed - good comment. Some angry and frustrated. Some don't care.

I remember Adam Adli, one of the member who lowered Najib's flag that was fluttering in front of PWTC building. When I read about it, I was amazed how daring this guy was. And many have salute him for his action and many have condemmed. I'm trying to understand why this student did that. Hurm.. he just want to give "feedback" to our current Prime Minister, "hey PM dude, you need to walk the talk,"

However to me, this group is potential to give influence to the policy maker in future IF only they do not take any side of many political party in Malaysia and manifest their objective according to their principle. They need to be free and neutral. Anyway, this is still an early stage of knowing what will happen to this group of student and how it's going to effect our next election in 2012. My concern is when they become influential, they become a body and shall require strong faundation and that is include financially. Who's going to fund them? *note to Solidarity of Indonesian Students*

Anyway, I do agree with Dr. Mahathir and he said that a student need to finish their studies before they want to be involved in politics. However, don't our student (above 18 years) also have a right to express their opinion about this beloved country and do whatever it takes to make sure the current Government listen to the People. Don't the student (above 21 years) have the right to vote? They, same like the rest of the citizen of Malaysia, have the ability to respond to what had happen to the Country and to the People. Why are they not allowed to exercise their right?! Why are their right been suppressed under Akta Udang-Undang Kolej & Universiti (AUKU).

Student Power

I read a lot during my studies years in UM. I read about human rights, democracy, separation of power, our history, our previous leader and that include leader from the opposition during our fight to freedom from the colonial rule, our Indepence Day, and many more. I read it not only for my exam but, because of the knowledge that I received.

One sweet day, these students are going to be an educator in future and maybe at this moment, they realized something valueable for themselves and they are fight for their freedom! Their freedom to educate the next generation accordingly and not according to the current government's policy.

How many policy have we experience since Independence Day? Everytime when the UMNO Prime Minister changed, they develop a new policy, i.e: Dasar Pandang Ke Timor, Dasar Penswastaan, Dasar Economi Baru, and many more. And our current Prime Minister now is promoting Dasar Tansformation and 1Malaysia. It's really sounds nice for advertising and what is the action plan? And congratulation on our precious Peaceful Assembly Bi(u)ll****!!

Come on, give us a break!! Give the student a break!! Should I go further to our current Education System?

How are we(the fellow citizen and our learned student) going to have an independent mind, thought and opinion? Why aren't we be allowed to exercise our right under the Federal Constitution? What kind of news that our mainstream media have been shove to our mind? It's full of racism, defamation, crap, lies and manipulation!!

This is why we need to read between the line. Read it using our better understanding about what is right and what is wrong, and using our heart to identified the truth and not blindly accept anybody who said so and so without think.

So, yeah.. I salute those people who stand by the truth, say the truth and nothing but the truth ~

“I'm worried that students will take their obedient place in society and
look to become successful cogs in the wheel - let the wheel spin them around as
it wants without taking a look at what they're doing. I'm concerned that
students not become passive acceptors of the official doctrine that's handed
down to them from the White House, the media, textbooks, teachers and preachers”
― Howard Zinn

525 600 minutes of 2011

2012 is coming soon and i love to open a new chapter, new beginning and a new spirits.. 2011 has been the wildest ride so far and I'm craving for more..

I learned so many in 2011 and met many empowered and inspiring people. I make a few mistake, and took the lesson. I loss some and I gain more. I gave and I received. I look forward for 2012 and big things are coming and I am ready to face it.

There is a few moment when I feel clueless about my life in relating with my love life and my work life. Sometimes, I do feel hopeless and have my breakdown due to many challenges and difficulties that I'm facing but, that have make me grow bigger and wiser.

Things that happened unexpectedly and it's amazing that I'm still alive and happy. This is because of the support that I received from friends and family. I feel thankful and grateful that every challenges has turn out, fine. Every small things, count. And bless everyone that have been there for me, stand up and make a difference to my life.

My highest peek of my life for this year is during three months period of 'Leadership Program' of AsiaWorks that I attend from May - August. It's surely have bring out the best of me and I have acknowledge myself that I am capable to do things that I thought I never will have it.

During that time, I have prove to myself that I can lose 10 kilos, play guitar and be a writer and have my own blog. It sounds simple and many people have done it and did it well. So, why is this important to me? Because it makes me realize things which I told myself that "I can't" is a myth. And all this time, I have ask myself a wrong question.

And what is the most important question for me is, "What Do I Want?" At first when a friend asked me, "What do you want, Sophie?" I feel awkward because, I'm just not sure what I want or basically, I don't believe that I can have what I want. And he keep repeating that same question and I feel annoyed, and become angry, frustrated. And when this question keep repeating to my head, it hits me to my heart and soul. And tears just drop.

There is a few things that I want in my life, the one that makes me feel complete. I want to take control of my life. I want to be able to do things that makes me happy. I want to have my own freedom of thought and opinion. I want to have freedom to love.. I want to have "fireworks" in my life. I want to shine and just be who I am.

For me, money and material is just a tools and the end product is the value that I have gain. I keep telling my self that I don't have enough source (e.i. money) to get what I want but, as I learn to appreciate every single thing around me, I have enough. I tell myself that I am in progess of getting what I want. It helps me to be patient and to be focus.

I learn to listen to my inner self and how to love myself and that is the biggest discovery. And I don't have to be perfect and have all the money in the world to be happy. My 525 600 minutes is worth living for 2011.

And I look forward for another 525 600 minutes to live, to love and to learn...

http://youtu.be/HcSDli-Byn8

Let's Walk Hand In Hand

Yesterday is another day to be remembered by all of us Malaysian and kudos to Malaysian Bar to make this stand to opposed the Peaceful Assembly Act 2011 Bill. Although that the Malaysian Parliament passed the law, (as I expected - 2/3 majority Barisan National MP's lah!)

Some people support the Bill, some people against it, some just don't give a damn!

But hey, we live in a Democracy country, which the voice of people need to be heard. Regardless whether you are from the majority or minority's, your voice counted and must be heard. With this law and the way it has been conduct and when we read through it, our conscience were itching telling us "hey, this is not right," And let us exercise our ability to respond because we can. We can exercise our right to freedom of speech, in good faith of course.. even if you have something stupid to say...

According to our Federal Constitution article 10, guarantees Malaysian citizens has the right to freedom of speech, freedom of assembly and freedom of association. However, we do not live 100% fully to our Constitution because of 1001 reason that has been made by our current Government. And this Act is surely, or seems to be (or at least to most of us who READ and UNDERSTAND what is the Federal Constitution) knows that this Act is just another Draconian Law same as the ISA and the rest of other related existing act.

Recently, there is an event for the minority to voice out their concern and worries, Sexuality Merdeka 2011. And yet, their right has been taken away. SEXUALITY MERDEKA WAS BANNED! Thanks to Ibrahim Ali, Perkasa Leader. Being typical Melayu, anything related to SEX, GAY, HOMOSEXSUAL is just another juicy stuff to gossip into without really understand what is it anyway. Simply want to make so much noise without really understand what is that event are all about. And then, judging and discriminate. It's easy to punish people because they think they have "power". So sudden, some so-called Leader make a statement saying that Homosexuality is unconstitutional. Note to that statement, "Don't simply use the word of "UNCONSTITUTIONAL" if you don't know what "Constitution" means because, it sounds stupid and yet funny when it you say out loud!

Drama! Drama! Drama! Being Melayu, we just loves watching Drama, kan?

I'm just a simple humble lay person with Law background education, another Malaysian Citizen and registered voter. I am NOW proudly use my right to express my frustration and my deepest sympathy to our beloved Prime Minister, that this two ways relationship between Leaders=Rakyat as what you have been proposed or promoting (transformation thingy) is not working because the real transformation thingy that is suppose to happen is not happening. You just lost ONE vote. Opps..

I have hope that one day, our Prime Minister could be someone like Nelson Mandela, Aung Sann Suu Kyi, Martin Luther King Jr. Dalai Lama, and many more Leader who sacrifice their whole life to uphold the right of the people. Nothing more important to have Leader using their REASON and COMMON SENSE, genuinely uphold what their human conscience whispered... regardless their race, religion and gender.

I have a dream that one day, Malaysia have a leader who protects the right of the Rakyat as a whole and put the Rakyat on top of their heads. Let us walk hand in hand to make sure the voice of all Rakyat Malaysia even animal and our forest will be heard and together we build the nation where reason and common sense arise!!

Let us sending lots of love, compassion and positive vibes to our future... Let's spread good by exercise words of kindest. Being aware that the changes always starts from within... If we want to see the Changes, Be the change.

I love you Malaysia. Forever.

Love,

Sufi.

Maarraaaaatthhhoonn....??!!

aku, harvey and daniel

LP 145

aku, dia dan medal - berbaloi lari 10km

menyibuk betul... hahahahaha!! tapi, dia lah yang paling disayangi...

berehat lepas lari....

Oh, wow..!! Dah lama aku tak update my blog. Macam-macam dah berlaku..tak tahu nak update yang mana dulu..

Baru-baru ni, aku join Marathon. Putrajaya Night Marathon. Run for 10km for the first time. First time join marathon with budak2 consti Bar Council - 5km jer. itu pun naik semput sebab tak gi training. So, this time, aku bertekad nak habiskan marathon for 10km. fuh! nasib baik cik abang dgn besfren cik abang aku pun join sekali.. tak de laa boring kan? malam2 pulak tu.. tapi, memang happening dan best sekali. budak2 asiawork - LP145 pun join sekali, tapi, dorang lari untuk 5km jer. ada dua orang yang lari untuk half marathon. pergghh.. tabik!

Anyway, masa mula2 nak run for the marathon tu punyalah semangat. Really, rasa macam hebat giler nak lari for 10km tapi, bila time dah sampai.. adoyai.. belasah jer laaa.. mak aih.. punyalah ramai orang kat Putrajaya.. aku pun rasa excited tapi, cik abang aku tu byk pulak bunyinya tapi, aku diamkan jer laa.. kang kalau aku kutuk2, half way aku "pancit", dorang gelakkan aku plak..

Anyway, nasib baik ada daniel.. ceria sikit laa marathon malam tu.. dia ni berat orangnya tapi, aku tahu dia boleh habiskan marathon saje dia buat ngada-ngada nak teh tarik laa.. rokok laa.. tapi, baguslah dia ada nak buat lawak.. usik2 awek2 dan kakak2 yang berusaha sungguh nak habiskan marathon.

So, sekarang ni dah jadi giler marathon.. ehehehe.. this week ada marathon eh.. walkathon kat the Curve. Awareness untuk orang utan. Support the cause laa sambil2 menderma.. hurm.. menarik gak dapat join activiti2 yang menyihatkan macam ni.. tak de lah asyik melepak depan tv dan membesarkan badan.. hahaha.. :)

Baru2 ni, ada member ajak gi marathon kat dataran merdeka. itu pun mesti syok... hehehe.. tengah bersemangat.. bolehlah join.. nnt kalau dah malas.. adoyaiii.. ish! tak boleh malas! I need to keep fit and stay fit.. lalala..

Sayonara!!!

Merdeka!! Or Merdeka??!

Tanggal 31 Ogos 2011, Malaysia menyambut hari kemerdekaannya yang ke-54. I don't really keen about it because of hari raya celebration. Lagipun, there is nothing to celebrate if we don't really understand why independent during 1957 is very important to the Malaysian and to the youth especially to the next generation? Or, is it just another public holiday. Lagi satu public holiday yang bakal disambut ialah 16 September 2011. Hari Malaysia.

Pada tahun 16 September 1963, Tanah Melayu, Sabah, Sarawak, Singapore telah bergabung menjadi Malaysia. Sebelum itu, pelbagai drama yang berlaku. Brunei tak jadi be part of Malaysia. Singapore pula dah keluar dari Malaysia. So, yang tinggal Semenanjung Malaysia, Sabah, Sarawak jelah. Hurm, sepanjang aku hidup ni, tak pernah lagi aku kunjungi Malaysia Timur lagi. Insyaallah.

Sejak kebelakangan ni, banyak suara-suara politik yang membangkitkan isu nasionalis. Salah satu isu yang hangat membahang ialah pasal PKM, Parti Komunis Malaya. Aku suka sejarah masa zaman persekolahan dulu dan aku gemarkan subjek itu bukan semata-mata kerana SPM tetapi, aku rasa inilah bangsa aku. Aku bangsa Malaysia yang berketurunan Melayu dan sejarah memberitahu asal usul dan di mana titik permulaan bagaimana bangsa aku dibentuk.

Aku tak peduli dari mana keturunan nenek moyang kita berasal. Bak kata pepatah Melayu, di mana bumi dipijak, di situ langit dijunjung. Menurut bapa aku, nenak moyang aku berasal dari Jawa. Jawa tu terletak dalam rumpun Melayu. Dari penghijrahan nenek moyang dari kepulauan Jawa datang ke Tanah Melayu, lantas membina kehidupan baru dan mencorak sejarah mereka sendiri dengan membawa budaya dan cara hidup sehingga memberi pengaruh terhadap generasi masa sekarang.. dan masa depan.

So, aku bercakap melalui pengalaman dan pengamatan menerusi kanta mata aku dan menilai melalui pemahaman aku sebagai seorang yang dilahirkan dan dibesarkan dalam keluarga berbangsa Melayu dan hidup bermasyarakat dengan pelbagai kaum dan bangsa. Dan, aku bangga jadi rakyat Malaysia. Merdeka kita bagi aku ialah bebas dari perintah dan penjajahan Inggeris.

Namun, soalnya kini.. bebas lagikah kita dari kemelut sebenar yang sentiasa menghantui kita? Bebaskah kita dalam mencari kebenaran? Bebaskah kita dalam mencapai apa yang kita impikan untuk kita dan bangsa kita?

Aku tidak ada jawapan yang konkrit untuk soalan yang diutarakan. Aku masih mencari apa yang benar bagi aku. Apa yang aku tahu, hanya orang yang berani menghadapi kebenaran akan menjumpai apa yang diingini. Hanya orang yang tabah dan cekal mengharungi dan berusaha mendapatkan apa yang diimpikan.

Semakin besar harapan kita, semakin besar cabaran yang datang... Soalnya, apa yang kita mahukan secara keseluruhannya. What is our common goal as Malaysian? Merdeka?!! (garu kepala) or Merdeka!!!