Aku Perempuan dan Kau Lelaki

Aku rasa tergerak untuk menulis sesuatu tentang peranan gender apabila aku melihat video ini. Pembuat video ini cukup bijak menggambarkan apa itu streotype gender - khususnya apa peranan lelaki dan perempuan. Hanya menggunakan beberapa contoh untuk membezakan antara keduanya dan ada kalanya aku rasa lucu, betul - tepat kena batang hidung aku dan ada yang membuatkan aku rasa sedih dan terkilan. *sigh*

Kita review satu persatu, ok?

1. Selepas kerja.
Kebanyakan perempuan yang bekerja lebih-lebih lagi bagi mereka yang sudah berumahtangga memang berhadapan situasi di mana mereka merasa bertanggungjawab untuk melakukan kerja-kerja rumah / household work seperti mengemas, memasak, mencuci dan jaga anak.

Aku akui, aku belum kahwin lagi tapi, aku pernah melalui satu kehidupan di mana aku membawa peranan sebagai seorang kekasih dan aku diletakkan harapan oleh pasangan ku itu untuk menjaga makan minumnya serta pakaiaannya. Maklumlah, dia anak mak.. So, 2 tahun setengah aku rasa seluruh tenaga aku dicurahkan untuk seorang yang menganggap aku, harus menepati ciri-ciri seorang superwomen. Balik dari kerja, rumah nak kena kemas, baju nak kena basuh, dinner nak kena prepare. Aku lakukan semuanya kerana sayang. Dan aku mahu melakukannya. Lupakan apa yang berlaku antara aku dengan dia kerana ianya tak penting.

Bila aku kenang semula, aku tertanya, bagaimana aku boleh lakukan semua itu untuk dia? Adakah kerana aku diharapkan untuk melakukan semua itu, sementara lelaki bila balik dari kerja boleh lepak dok depan sofa, lepas makan, nak angkat pinggan masuk dapur pun payah, apatah lagi nak tolong membantu kemaskan dapur? Paling tidak pun, selepas mesin basuh selesai cucikan baju, hanya tinggal nak sidai baju di tengah panas? Bukan baju sapa-sapa, baju awak (kaum lelaki) juga.. betul tak?

Bila bini membebel di rumah, sebab awak tak reti or buat-buat tak reti pandai pula nak cari ketenangan di luar.. lepas tu mulalah.. cari mistress sebab kat rumah, tension! Bini tak cukup memahami.. yang awak penat cari rezeki di luar..(macamlah bini awak tu tak kerja.. even, jadi suri rumah pun boleh letih tau, dengan nak melayan anak-anak lagi, bila malam nak kena “jaga” awak lagi di atas katil.. erm.. macam yang disarankan oleh “Kelab Taat Suami” tuer.. Urrggghhh!!! First class Prostitute? Hurm.. I don’t want to start on that now.. well, at least not for now..

So, just imagine dah lah kerja penat-penat kat ofis, balik rumah pun nak kena buat kerja juga. So, kalau sayangkan bini bukan tinggal-tinggalkan, tapi, kalau sayangkan bini pandai-pandailah bertoleransi dan bekerjasama yer?

2. Watching Romantic Movie.
Aku memang ratu air mata kalau tengok Romantic Movie especially, made from Bollywood. Ish, kalau cerita Tamil lagi aku feel babe.. .Pernah sekali aku tengok cerita Sanggam part masa Radha terkantoi dengan Husband dia pasal surat yag dia pernah bagi kat ex-boyfriend dia (kawan baik Husband). Time tu memang aku feel sebab ex-bf kuat jealous time tuer. Hehe.. So, I rest my case la, kalah teruk! Tapi, ada jugak kawan perempuan aku yang memang tak boleh blah kalau cerita cintan ni.. aku pun kalau nak ikutkan cerita cintan tuer pun ada kelas kelasnyer, kalau setakat filem Yusof Haslam ker, Razak Mohedeen ker, memang tak boleh feel la.. But, the point is I acknowledge yang Perempuan macam aku ni sensitive sikit pasal bab-bab perasaan ni.. Cuma kena control laa.. Hehe..

Psst, aku nak kongsi sikit about my bf, dia pun meleleh gak tengok citer romantic ni.. Korang layan tak "KalHo NaHo"? Tangkap jiwang suit... hehehe.. dia kalau translate Hindi ke English.. perrggghhh.. menusuk jantung.. Ada satu kali tu, aku pernah ada dispute denga dia, KalHo Naho tu Hitrit Roshan dengan Amisha Patel yang berlakon. Tapi, dia mati-mati cakap Shah Rukh Khan dengan Preeti Zinta berlakon. AKu tak puas hati sampai bet RM50. Last-last, dia menang.. Not bad for a guy. AKu bukan apa, confused dengan cerita Kaho Na Pyar Hai..:P

Hehe.. Pernah sekali dia call aku, suruh aku tengok “The Force Of Nature” Lakonan Ben Affleck dan Sandra Bullock. I’m being the biggest supporter pun layankan je laa.. Anyway, this video clip is for you, boo!! I love you~



3. On a diet.
Ini aku kurang setuju tapi, pokoknya di sini bukan sebab perempuan bila diet, dia makan sekali makanan dalam pinggan boyfriend dia tapi, dia tak de “Iron Will” nak kuruskan badan. Honestly, sekarang ni aku sedang dalam misi untuk turun 10kg daripada xxx kg ke yyy kg.. sedangkan sejak October 2009 aku dah meng”enroll”kan diri dalam Fitness First dan mencuba MarieFrance BodyLine, tapi.. tak turun2 pun.. Hehe.. dan sekarang ni, sejak aku berada dalam Training LP ni, aku mula faham apa itu Compelling Desire, Solid Belief, Effective Action and Iron Will, itu pasal aku sekarang ni as of this time, dah turun 4kg sejak 4 minggu yang lepas... wooot!! Woot!!!! And, boyfriend aku ni pun tak nak kalah punya pasal, dia pun nak diet gak! Dia buat kerja giler, dia jalan kaki dari Phileo Damansara sehingga ke Kota Damansara dalam masa 1 jam 50 minit. Giler?! Well, aku rasa dia pun rasa tercabar, taknak kalah kan? Sebabnya ada sekali tu, dia timbang berat badan dia, dia panggil penimbang berat tu “penipu” lepas tu aku reply, “eleh, you yang live in denial.. memang you dah gemok pun,” Hehe.. agaknya, sebab tu laa kot dia pun nak turunkan berat badan... :P

So, baru-baru ni, kitaorang pun pergi la walking kat Taman Tun Dr. Ismail. Bersungguh-sungguh kitaorang nak bersenam nier. Hehe.. bagi aku, romantic gak berdiet sama-sama dengan boyfriend. Masing-masing support each other, wanted to achieve goal. Even, masa dinner pun, we watch what we eat, choose healthy food. Although, memang ada banyak temptation, ajakan makan kat restoran fatty crab la, makan kat hotel for buffet la, ad we both manage to say NO. Anyway, my important message ialah, nak jaga badan ni bukan sahaja untuk lawa, tapi, untuk maintain kesihatan dan semangat dalaman. Nanti, kalau dua-dua pun saling menjaga diri masing-masing, bila dua-dua dah look good together, mestilah rasa yakin diri pun meningkat, kan? And, yang paling penting, nyah.. dua-dua loving each other..forever ever laa hendaknya.. :P Amin.. so, lagu yang aku nak mainkan ni aku rasa, sesuai untuk lelaki juga, cuma tukar lirik jer.. Enjoy!



Well, Aku stop dulu untuk kali ni.. nanti bila-bila masa aku dah ada idea, aku tambah lagi..

Chachow!!!

Tribute to LP145

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag (Yes! I did.. sometimes..)
Drifting throught the wind
Wanting to start again (That's my life have been before..what?)

Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin
Like a house of cards
One blow from caving in (yeaaaahhhh...! all the time!!

Do you ever feel already buried deep
Six feet under scream
But no one seems to hear a thing (Urrggghhh.. when everytime I said, die la! die la! How to do this laaa..OMG! OMG! Kit gonna kill me!!)

Do you know that there's still a chance for you
Cause there's a spark in you... (Yes!!! I knowwwww!!!)

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine (Shine..and pay it forward..:))
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July..(31st August - Hari Merdeka kita, okey!!!)

Cause baby you're a firework (Yes!! You are, my Buddy!!!! Evelyn & Syuan!!!)
Come on show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y (Fly man! Flyyyy... up! up! up to the skyyyyyyy!!!)

Baby you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gunna leave 'em fallin' down-own-own

You don't have to feel like a waste of space (if it's to be, it's up to me!!)
You're original, cannot be replaced (tidak boleh ditukar ganti okey..!!)
If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow (with seven colours!!!! - our multiple color!! Regardless you are born Malay, Chinese, Indians - with different taste, culture and language and we manage to be ONE HEART, ONE WORLD with boundless possibilities..)

Maybe you're reason why all the doors are closed
So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road (and it's all bring us together at the training rooms - Basic, Advance & LP Journey..)
Like a lightning bolt, your heart will blow
And when it's time, you'll know (you know I know you all know..)

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine (shine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! don't hold up!!!)
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July

Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y (fly babe!! fly higher!!!!!!)

Baby you're a firework (shake that booty!!!)
Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gonna leave 'em all in awe-awe-awe" (AWESOMEEEEE!!!!)

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
It's always been inside of you, you, you
And now it's time to let it through

Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework (Yes!! I am!!!!!!! Loving, Honest & Powerful woman!!!!)
Come on slet your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gonna leave 'em all in awe-awe-awe

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon (Sailormooooooooooon!!! berkhidmat untuk bulan and menentang kuasa jahat............!!)

love,
Sufi

Shopaholic??? Money vs. Values

by Sufi

I have a confession. I think , I might be a shopaholic. Or perhaps, you guys can help me whether I do have a symptom or potential to be a shopaholic.

This morning, one of my co-worker passed me one big plastic bag contained a few women product that I ordered from her (as her side-income) and, it cost me almost RM100. I noticed that all my previous workplace got at least one person who would take a product to the office and promotes it their co-worker and of course, being a supporter, I support them by buying their products. From cloths to accessories, or some MLM's product - e.g. food supplement; women wash; you name it. So, haha!! I rate myself 1 to 10 (10 is the bigger) as 8 that I am always.. "support" them to generate their income. :P

This afternoon, on my way to the cafeteria to get lunch at my workplace, there it was a booth of this Bank who promotes credit cards. My eyes were on the advert that shows good offer that I should not lose. I am tempted to approach one "agent" and to get more info. We have eye to eye contact but then again a voice shouts at my ears, "NO!!! you have 3 credit cards all ready!! You need to handle the debts first!! REMEMBER???!!!" Quickly I look somewhere else and focused on what I am to get for lunch. Uuhhhh..!! I squeezed my purse holding myself to be patient. Huhu!!

This evening, after work I went for a dinner with a few girlfriends (my BFFs) and we all chit chatting about how things going on in our life. One of our friend just come back from vacation from overseas. Wow!! And when I look at her glooming being when she shared her shopping experience, I shut my mind and I just hearing, "cheap! cheap! cheap! cheap! original! very nice! more choices! cheap! cheap! cheeeeeeeaappp....!" [*sounded like chipping birds..]

And then, later in evening, I realized that, I have spent half of this months salary just to pay my credit cards...uurrhhhggghhh... and it's not reduce much!! :( Uuuuhhhhhhh...

And so, I googled on How to Recognize Symptoms of Shopaholic. A British study states that 2-10% of adults tend to love shopping. In women, this trend increased 9 times larger than the male. (WHATTT???!!!! 9 times?? ) Well, do I have a tendency to be shopaholic? Consider the following signs:
1. You are very eager to discuss plans for shopping streets. If not able to make it happen in one week, you’ll be disappointed. [Yahhh..sometimes..(*still in denial)]
2. Your moods change frequently. When shopping, you’re excited. (Of course!!!!!!) However, your emotions can turn grim when the money you have or even exhausted.
(Auuuch!! You got me at Hello!!!!)
3. You see a wedding party or a party rather than as a moment to have fun, but as an excuse to shop for new clothes. (Errrrrrrmmmmm...ehem!! I better let my bf answer this..)

So, am I a shopaholic? Well, I like to shop.. I love branded stuff but, I'm not that obsess like the girl in that movie, "A confession of a Shopaholic". I'm just like the rest of you out there.. (you know..) Normal. :) define normal can be subjective and what I have learned here to accept that "hey, we women have taste!" hahaha!!

Anyway, I would love to add that what's count is the value of getting what we want. It's not just a scarf, it can a symbol to someone. It's not just spend money, it's investing! We invest to boost up our confident level, we invest to heal our emotional break down. We invest on something that shall improve our relationship with others. So, it's not just buying a thing but, to be able to see the value that come out from the things that we bought for our personal development.

You see?!

Anyway, be moderate. Be thoughtful. Be thankful.

To me, it doesn't matter women or men who got the highest statistic on "who loves to shop the most," just as long it brings good values to us and be wise. STOP! LOOK! CHOOSE! and VOTE!!

Love, Sufi.

Girls & Boys - Parenting Do Counts

A Tribute to My Nephews and Nieces!
By Sufi

As of date; 24th June 2011, currently I have 4 nephews and 3 nieces. Three (3) of them are my First (Along) brother's sons. Zikri aged 12, Zaidi aged 11 and Zubir aged 6. Another three is my Second (Angah) brother's children. Syamil aged 6, Zara aged 4 and newborn baby Zuyyin four month old. Safwan, My Younger brother has become a father at the aged 24 and his wife Ayna, aged at the aged of 18 years old mother of newborn baby Adawiyah, same age as Zuyyin, 4 month old.

Parent No 1: Safwan & Ayna

I would love to share with you guys about this young couple. Safwan and Ayna. Honestly, I admirer their courage and their determination of wanting to have and willing to sacrifice their younger moment in order for them to have their own family. They both shared dream of having life together two years ago before they officially mariade to each other.

I have heard about them since Ayna was still wearing her school uniform. I thought, it's going to be another Safwan's puppy love. But, two years they both still holding on and both of them really love each other. I know because, I saw how Safwan treat his wife last two weeks when we are on the way home from Alor Setar, just finished attend our cousin's wedding and we drop by at Penang and drove with my Myvi to Gopeng.

:) I am proud of Safwan to see him taking care of Adawiyah, to hold her in his arms. I remember at that aged, I was still traumatise to get myself in relationship again. I hate the word of commitment. Especially to a man! (Yeah, I was broken heart at that time and choose not to trust man everrrr again. Share with you about that on some other time.) And when I was 18, gosshhh.. I have no guy friend yet!! Just finished my SPM. To me, at that time, boys are jerk and dangerous!! Seriously! (Well, coming from a girl school, what to expect about boys? Hopeless Nothing - ZERO!!)

But, they have showed me differently. Coming from their point of view, I guess both of them grew mature very well indeed. However, being a parents is not just having a baby. A baby need extra care and a lots of effection. And, worst come to worst, handling responsibility. It's not just handling responsibility towards each other and to the Baby. It's also, towards people who have you enrolled in other for them to see the vision together. The Family, your Brothers and Sister and the whole family from the both side.

Do take note on how Safwan actually make us believe that he can be a Husband and a Father.

When he first express his intention to marry Ayna, I am the first one to object. Why? Because, he has showed not much of responsibility towards the Family. Being the youngest among the sibling means, he can do whatever he wants to do and take advantage on other people, like that? I was furious to know that his future wife is just finishing school. Coming from my being, education is the most important to thing to accomplish to every body especially to woman, as general. When we woman have education, and use that as a tool for us to get what we aim for in life. Again, may I remind you that is coming from my point of view.

So, I do feel, that at that particular of time, Safwan is not capable to handling responsible as a husband and that girl surely are so young to carry out the responsible of a wife. Attending to "Kursus Kahwin" is not enough to equipt them to be husband and wife. A lot of obstacles shall be coming and storm them if they are not ready mentally and spiritually.

Until now, I don't know how are they going to survive, whether both of them shall stay strong together or not? But, what's important now is our prayer that everything shall come together and shall be sorting out, one by one, step by step and eventually bigger plans for them and for their generation. Who knows?

Looking at Adawiyah, she is so smart. Warm and lovely. According to Ayna, not much grungies but, when at times, she can be irratating but, hey, aren't we all like that? :) So much come for Adawiyah and I look forward for more from her.

Parent No. 2: Angah & Kak Sham

Angah and Kak Sham was married when both of them in their late 20-ies. They have meet in some ways where both of them know where they want to head. Both are matured and ready be live their live. If I’m not mistaken, it took them less than a year in relationship and then, Angah decided that Kak Sham was the perfect candidate to be his wife and a mother to his kids. Based on how both of them has raised Syamil and Zara, they are both so fine so far. But then, I think both my parents also should be taking credit of raising up Syamil and Zara when Angah and Kak Sham go to work.

Syamil is such sweet boy. Althought, he can be very annoying and little brat but, still manageable. He really attached with my Dad and although, I have witness a few of dispute between both of them, I find it’s funny. My Dad now is 64 enjoying playing with Syamil and just bring syamil “jalan-jalan” with his old Honda cap motorbike.

Zara is much closer with my Mom. Anyhow, her determined actually influences Zara in a way or two. And she is so smart like her Aunt, me.
One sweet day, Zara, one of nothing, Zara said to Kak Sham, “Zara nak pergi sekolah, Ibu. Zara tak mahu kahwin…!! (I want to go to school, mom. I don’t want to get married..!!) “At that time she was only 3 years old. I was shocked. How on earth, this 3 years old kid knew the word of “married“? I was puzzled and at the same time, I was so damn proud!

Awwwww…

Anyway, as I observed that both Angah and Kak Sham educate Syamil and Zara just like what we always see in every boys and girls. So, typical that Syamil loves car. He can recognize a lot car on the road especially Nissan Grand Lavina. Oh, well! One day, when I was first learn how to drive, he make a special remark, “Girls can drive, huh?” I was like “excuse me? What do YOU mean?” but, I did not replied that to him. *rolling eyes* I just told him that, “everybody can drive a car, not only boys. Girl like me also can drive. When you and Zara grow up, both of you also can drive..” And he replied, “Mom don’t know how to drive pun,” Errm.. okey! :P “I reply, “If she wants to drive, she need to learn first and pass her test and then, she can drive. I’m sure, one day Ibu shall drive you to school like I did, kan?” and he smile, “Okey!”

Adorable and yet... must gives awareness to kids about role play of a gender.

Parent No. 3: Along and Kak Long.

Hehehe.. What about both of them that makes all the three boys sooooo special? Zikri, too bad that he was not around KL because currently he is at Sabak Bernam, Kak Long’s hometown. Her mother take care of Zikri since he was baby. Hopefully he will be in KL after he finished his UPSR this year and scores!!
I still remember the times before Zikri was born, Kak Long has scan her tummy at the clinic (pakar sakit puan) that, she is having a baby girl. Kak Long was so excited and posted a Baby Girl poster on her room. And when the Baby was born, it’s turn out to be a baby boy. Haha.. 
Anyway, Zikri and Zaidi only one year gap. And people usually may mistake them as twin because of their same size and interest. I hardly see them have a fight and actually both of them communicating same wave of language.

One day, I think when Zikri was about to learn how to speak. He was “pelat” for example, when he said “Ning Ale” means, “pening Kepala,” and many more words that I could not remember. There were at times, Zikri was being moody and he was asking for something from my mom, my mom and dad was puzzled. I was puzzled too, “tallok..tallok…nak tallok…” What the hell is tallok?? Suddenly, Zaidi throw his “bantal busuk”.. Laaa.. Bantal Peluk rupanya..

Kak Long is such a sweethear and Along is a romantic man in his own strange ways, I must say based on my experience. Remember during my early year in Universiti Malaya, I always go back to Cheras and spend my weekend with them? Yeah, on 25 August is Kak Long’s birthday. I was there to witness romantic moment when, Along bought a cake and put one whole big white candle on the cake and write a song for Kak Long, you know la how talented Along was in making his own song. :P

Score!!!

Owh, another memorable moment of both of them that we whole family could not forget. At that time, Zaidi was about two year old and they just come back from shopping, I can’t remember where is the location but, at that time, both of them still travel with his Honda cap motorbike. So, just imagine, Along was sitting in front, Zaidi in a middle and when Kak Long was about to be ride behind, Along just took off with his bike and left Kak Long behind. Kak Long was so shocked and speechless until she realizes that Along is not turning back. She was running like crazy woman, shouting and calling her beloved husband, “Abang…! Abanng………!! Abbaaaaannnnnnnnggg!!!”

I can felt how Kak Long was feeling at that time, the blood must be rushing up to her face and her heartbeat run fast and almost come out running towards Along.. And Zaidi was being quite, not feeling scare at all. Thank ggodnes that Along was not ride fast enough to make Zaidi fall. My Goodness..

Sure, it’s turn out to be one funny story now. Owh, wait until you hear about Zubir..

Letter to My Father [Abah]

by Sufi

Dear Abah,
Tonight I felt like I wanted to go through my photo album. As I look at old pictures of mine, I can’t stop praise myself how lovely and cute I was. A few pictures that caught my eyes is when I was still a baby with my cheeky smile with no teeth, a picture of me when I was 2 years old with a sweet smile and nice white teeth, and many more…

As I slide to the next page of the album, there is one our picture together, the father-daughter relationship that we have, we both know that both of us are so proud of each other. At that particular of time, I was 20 years old. It was my 1st year studying Law at University of Malaya. I know you really look up high at me and put so much trust in me that I can complete my studies. Although I’ve been complaining to you that read law gives me so much pain and misery, don’t know whether this is the right course for me, I’m not good enough to be a lawyer. Who can imagine that someone like me (at that particular time are hopeless lazy and spoiled kid) would have balls and kick some ass??!

And, now I realize that I was just don’t even tried good enough, I don’t push myself hard enough to learn, to experience the knowledge. Yes, I am Miss 50-50 and don’t put my 100%. I was just not aware at that time, how lucky I was to have that one-time opportunity to change my life. You never give up in me. You give me words of wisdom. Just because, you see something that I did is worth it for you to witness. You see 100% is possible, 100% of the time in me. I believed you. And I never give up. On 9th September, 2007, you witnessed me walking proudly towards that superlady (She is the first woman to become Hakim Besar Malaya – YB Tan Sri Siti Norma Yaakob) and received my scroll – L.L.B. Sarjana Muda Ijazah Undang-Undang (Dengan Kepujian) with my one sweet big smile and in my hearts screaming “Finally!!!!

And then Mom leak me one little secret..she told me that she saw you shed a tear drop for me. Tears of happiness, I suppose.

Again, I was in my breakdown. I still felt hopeless not even wanted to do my chambering because, I just don’t believe that I can. For that period of 9 months (or perhaps more), I finally was called to the Bar on 18th November 2008 in front of Yg Arif Ariff. As Mr. Edmund Bon read my long-call speech and the moment once I was acceptable to be bla bla bla and Advocate & Solicitor, you shed a tear drop of happiness, as Along has told me. They are all were proud of me, standing and wearing that robe.

I did this, Abah. I did this because of you and I love you.

My Beautiful Mom [Mak]

By Sufi

My mom had told me a story on what had happened on the day I was born. She felt something powerful would come out from her womb and she believed her world would change on that date. Despite that my Dad was not around; he had outstation in Melaka. She asked help from my neighbor to send her to Hospital Besar Kuala Lumpur. It was early morning and exactly at 9.05 am [as stated on my Birth Cert].
As I’m writing this article, memories of my mom and I just play up. How innocent I was and how depending I am to my mom.
I remember how she bribe me with my favorite meal, warm rice mix with fried mackerel fish and some soy sauce) with her bare hand. (Erm…) I also remember that I always left behind (I’m a slow walker) in a crowd at any funfair or market place and then, my mom would come back and rescue me. I also remember my mom would just left me at home with my dad (while he watching TV) and I would cried out loud screaming calling her. I was angry at her just because she refused to bring me to Night Market (Pasar Malam). I remember that she just laugh cynically because I told her that she don’t love me anymore, she preferred my 3rd brother rather than me. Oh, how silly I was back then but, then again I was a kid.

I’m her little girl.

As I grew up, I become more aware of her role as a mother. She is a housewife and she has prepared everything for the family. She cook, she wash, she iron and fold the cloths, she goes market to buy groceries, she make the bed, clean the house, and the list goes on as she’s been taking care all of it and she done it well!

She is my superwomen.

And then, when I started to share her responsibility and helping her to care of the house, I questioned her. “Why I’m the only one who helping you? Why can’t the other (my whatever brothers) help us to take care of this house. We can delegate the task and less burden you.” And my mom replied, “It’s okey lah. They are boys. You are a girl in this family. Who else can help me if it’s not you?”
I was furious and confused at the same time. Being a boy has a lot of privilege than being a girl? I don’t mind helping my mom as of fact but, what if I was born as a boy. Is thing going to be the same?

I asked myself. Who decide this?!

Ode To My Family

By Sufi

Introduction.
I lived with my parents. Both of them are still alive and kickin’. And both of them have raised me on how a Muslim Malay girl should be. Hurm.. should be? What is that supposed to mean? I shall let u explore more of it after this. And yes, I am 31 years old woman now, as of date, driving my Myvi with 1.3 engine which I swear I don’t care enough to know about it. What works for me, is that this Myvi is a symbol of my so-called life. It represents my power within and it’s not just a vehicle that can bring me from point A to point B. Well, enough about my car. I shall explain about it in another topic and how it meant a lot to me. Well, YES!!! I am one of that women drivers, Mr. Bung!!! (F*** U!!) [Read this for more info;MP rapped for remarks against women drivers - Star Motoring - Car news, reviews, previews, classifieds, price guides]

What else?? Hurm.. my four brothers. Strong, caring, intelligent, smart, protective, determine, passionate man. (well, the list can goes on, you know...) They are my heroes with a shining armor and don’t mess up with me because you will get yourself into trouble, my friend. Is this a mild warning to my beloved boyfriend? 

And so, here I am a middle child, the third one. I am between 2 elder brothers and 2 younger brothers. Wow!! Can’t wait to tell the stories how I grew up with them. I almost turned up to be like boys, you know!

And yes, my three lovely and sweet sisters in law. They married to my first (Along), second (Angah) and forth brother (Wan). They have been sisters that I never had. And I welcome them in the family. Thank you for marrying my whatever brothers. *Please be informed that only my third brother (Alim) and I have yet to be married to anyone. (And the reason why I’m sharing this* because…[sarcastic voice]

Last but not least, my nephews and my nieces!!! [Awwhhh..!!!] Soon, I let you know how these kids thought me about life and what’s possible for future generation. The choice is in my hand and with every action that I did today does give impact, and this responsible includes you too my friend.

The Most Important Questions.

The Most Important Questions; What, Who & Why?
By Sufi


Who Am I?
I’m a woman with a loving, honest and powerful being..
I’m a middle child and the only daughter to passionate and dedicated parents.
I’m the only sister between two elder brothers and two younger brothers who I describe as a strong, caring, intelligent and determined man
I’m a friend to many of cool, smart and cheerful people
I’m a lover to a strong and passionate man
I’m an Advocates and a solicitor as profession, have believe that the most ideal legal system should have Rules of Law which guarantees justice, fairness and equality to all fellow citizen of Malaysia regardless of race, religion and sex. [just to note that our Bible is Federal Constitution].
I’m a citizen of Malaysia who believes the power of good governance derives from the People, by the People, for the People. I have the power to stop, to look, to choose and to vote.
I am the change that I want to create for my love ones, my society and my Country [if only they could see their boundless possibility of being one heart, one nation and one vision]
I stand for gender equality so that women and men can work together and experience the equal opportunity to be successful in pursuit of happiness
…And the list goes on and on.. just because I foresee the new possibility of who will I become and what values shall I gain in me by being open and I am welcome to any knowledge..


What do I want?
I want to be a leader in me.
I want to love and to be loved
I want to be happy and successful
I want to be able to do anything that I want and do what I love
I want to learn and to discover a lot of new possibility in my life
I want to be strong, determine and be effective in every action that I do.
I want to be a human being that is able to be hurt and recover, and keep going on standing and fighting to live, to love and to inspired
I want to be free and to have experience of freedom of thought, freedom of speech, freedom of movement and to share my values to my People by having ability to respond in my own Country.
I want to continue feeling proud of Malaysia and my people, and to continue contributing my passion, my knowledge and many more.
I want to be able and experience life the way I want it to be and live with what I believe.
I want to be the changes by doing one single act of kindness a day
Just because, I can and I will make a difference in my life from now on until it’s time for me to come home and there I’ll be, a Polaris star and shall never fade away.
…And the list goes on and on... and I shall explore more as how I see my life and the world around me..

Why is this important to me?
Just because, I am important to myself, my family, my friends, my society, my people, my country and my world. I treat myself important to those people and it's important to me just because I believed that can I can be the changes by making a stand. And my stand are, everybody are born free & equal.

I don’t know how. I don’t know when. All I know is what I want and who I am, right now.

What's Sex got to do with it?!!

I invited you guys to look deeper why gender issues is still an issues. WHY are we focused so much on what man or woman can do or cannot do. Why there is a distinction on who can do it better?

As I was driving home, I realize that God has given each one of many choices on what we want to be based on how we see life. I believe that God had created Adam & Eve for one reason. To get connected and to live in harmonize..

Trans-gender
I do acknowledge that things has become quite complicated when someone felt that, she or he were trapped in someone's else body. I genuinely wish to know how that feeling become and I salute those people who have brave enough to be true to them selves. There are brave enough to admit to the world that they don't give a damn what the society think about them. They lived their live just the way they wanted to and at the end of the day, only good things that we do counts.

Some people would against it because of many reason and one of it is the religious believe. It's forbidden by their teaching and believe. But then again, who are these people forgot that their religion teach about compassionate, the truth and peace.

Since when these group of people have been given power by God that they are allowed to punish people who are not living their life, so-called normal.

I have opportunity to know a few friend who at that time I found quite peculiar. To make it short, they've born as a man but, would like to be known with a girly name. As I got to know them, I sees their true color. They are warm, loving and smart. Vice-versa goes to some friends that I've known since high school.

So what?

As I get to know them, it doesn't matter where they went for shee-shee. It's doesn't change how I see them as a person, as a friend with good values in them and I love them so much! They have proven to me they are worth it to love and to be loved.

Again, what's SEX gotta do with it?!! Live your life the way you see it~