Letter to My Father [Abah]

by Sufi

Dear Abah,
Tonight I felt like I wanted to go through my photo album. As I look at old pictures of mine, I can’t stop praise myself how lovely and cute I was. A few pictures that caught my eyes is when I was still a baby with my cheeky smile with no teeth, a picture of me when I was 2 years old with a sweet smile and nice white teeth, and many more…

As I slide to the next page of the album, there is one our picture together, the father-daughter relationship that we have, we both know that both of us are so proud of each other. At that particular of time, I was 20 years old. It was my 1st year studying Law at University of Malaya. I know you really look up high at me and put so much trust in me that I can complete my studies. Although I’ve been complaining to you that read law gives me so much pain and misery, don’t know whether this is the right course for me, I’m not good enough to be a lawyer. Who can imagine that someone like me (at that particular time are hopeless lazy and spoiled kid) would have balls and kick some ass??!

And, now I realize that I was just don’t even tried good enough, I don’t push myself hard enough to learn, to experience the knowledge. Yes, I am Miss 50-50 and don’t put my 100%. I was just not aware at that time, how lucky I was to have that one-time opportunity to change my life. You never give up in me. You give me words of wisdom. Just because, you see something that I did is worth it for you to witness. You see 100% is possible, 100% of the time in me. I believed you. And I never give up. On 9th September, 2007, you witnessed me walking proudly towards that superlady (She is the first woman to become Hakim Besar Malaya – YB Tan Sri Siti Norma Yaakob) and received my scroll – L.L.B. Sarjana Muda Ijazah Undang-Undang (Dengan Kepujian) with my one sweet big smile and in my hearts screaming “Finally!!!!

And then Mom leak me one little secret..she told me that she saw you shed a tear drop for me. Tears of happiness, I suppose.

Again, I was in my breakdown. I still felt hopeless not even wanted to do my chambering because, I just don’t believe that I can. For that period of 9 months (or perhaps more), I finally was called to the Bar on 18th November 2008 in front of Yg Arif Ariff. As Mr. Edmund Bon read my long-call speech and the moment once I was acceptable to be bla bla bla and Advocate & Solicitor, you shed a tear drop of happiness, as Along has told me. They are all were proud of me, standing and wearing that robe.

I did this, Abah. I did this because of you and I love you.