Thursday, December 29, 2011
525 600 minutes of 2011
2012 is coming soon and i love to open a new chapter, new beginning and a new spirits.. 2011 has been the wildest ride so far and I'm craving for more..
I learned so many in 2011 and met many empowered and inspiring people. I make a few mistake, and took the lesson. I loss some and I gain more. I gave and I received. I look forward for 2012 and big things are coming and I am ready to face it.
There is a few moment when I feel clueless about my life in relating with my love life and my work life. Sometimes, I do feel hopeless and have my breakdown due to many challenges and difficulties that I'm facing but, that have make me grow bigger and wiser.
Things that happened unexpectedly and it's amazing that I'm still alive and happy. This is because of the support that I received from friends and family. I feel thankful and grateful that every challenges has turn out, fine. Every small things, count. And bless everyone that have been there for me, stand up and make a difference to my life.
My highest peek of my life for this year is during three months period of 'Leadership Program' of AsiaWorks that I attend from May - August. It's surely have bring out the best of me and I have acknowledge myself that I am capable to do things that I thought I never will have it.
During that time, I have prove to myself that I can lose 10 kilos, play guitar and be a writer and have my own blog. It sounds simple and many people have done it and did it well. So, why is this important to me? Because it makes me realize things which I told myself that "I can't" is a myth. And all this time, I have ask myself a wrong question.
And what is the most important question for me is, "What Do I Want?" At first when a friend asked me, "What do you want, Sophie?" I feel awkward because, I'm just not sure what I want or basically, I don't believe that I can have what I want. And he keep repeating that same question and I feel annoyed, and become angry, frustrated. And when this question keep repeating to my head, it hits me to my heart and soul. And tears just drop.
There is a few things that I want in my life, the one that makes me feel complete. I want to take control of my life. I want to be able to do things that makes me happy. I want to have my own freedom of thought and opinion. I want to have freedom to love.. I want to have "fireworks" in my life. I want to shine and just be who I am.
For me, money and material is just a tools and the end product is the value that I have gain. I keep telling my self that I don't have enough source (e.i. money) to get what I want but, as I learn to appreciate every single thing around me, I have enough. I tell myself that I am in progess of getting what I want. It helps me to be patient and to be focus.
I learn to listen to my inner self and how to love myself and that is the biggest discovery. And I don't have to be perfect and have all the money in the world to be happy. My 525 600 minutes is worth living for 2011.
And I look forward for another 525 600 minutes to live, to love and to learn...