Monday, July 4, 2011
Leap of Faith
25 June 2011 - The day that I shall never forget. Last weekend, I had the best experience in my whole life eveeeerrrrr!! Never thought that by standing at the edge of more than 100 metres height and jump can change the way I see my life and what is possible for me and the people that I care enough and love. I call this experience, as "Leap of Faith".
My Name is Sufi. I choose this Event.
The event took place at Sungai Itek, Perak we arrived there before 10am after traveling that morning from Asiaworks Training Center at around 7am. All together are 39, include our 6 Seniors, they called themselves Wild Rose.
It was conducted by the Nomad Adventure http://www.nomadadventure.com/ and the Trainer for this event is Mr. Jeffrey. He is soooo cool and inspired man. We started off by warming up and did the ground exercise, balancing our body, focusing the aims, and buiding up the teamworks. After lunch, the journey began and then, my worst nightmare come true..
My first challenge is to climb the 100 metres height tyres and string!! I told to my Buddy, Syuan and encourage her to go early because, I know the more I delayed, the more fear conquer me. So, fucked it!! Just do it!! I don't care enough about the possibility of falling. I am a Hypsiphobia- Fear of height. You guys can google here if you guys want to know more. http://phobialist.com/#H-
As I focused to be on top, I am strugling to lift my butt up and I'm cursing myself, why do I put so much weight. F*ck!! My butt is as heavy like a rock and I used my arms to pull me up. And I started to get tired. As I stop and I begin to cried. I hear a lot of voices, encouraging me not to stop. I'm cursing! I'm cursing!
Jay, the Coordinator-Terminator voices coach me to focus using my leg to move up. And start to focus and climb. It was aweful pain. The facilitator was waiting for me on the top still encouraging to move up further, "A bit more, Sufi. Just a bit more, Sufi." I beg him to pull my hand, "No Sufi. You can do it," And I told myself, "Yes sufi, YOU can do this sh**t!! If you can do this, you can do anything you want!!! Just move your butt up!!"
And I did it. And there is more to come. My heartbeat run so fast and I can hear it out loud. WTF!! My hand was sweating like water and I really want to pee my pants out. Next challenge is to cross to the next point walking on one single rope. The only thing that I can depand to is the hold rope hanging on top of me. Shhh****tttttt.. Thank goodness for the "hannes" and the "liferope" that connect between myself and the main cabel so that I won't fall if I slip.
First thing that come out from my mouth before crossing the rope is "I'M SCARED!!!!!!!" And YES, I am. Jay was, "What Sufi? You scared? Just do it and remember the exercise that we do this morning," I looked at the facilitator and he gives me tips how to cross this road. As I calmly crossed, my mind was everywhere and I strugling to balance myself and move forward, I move my right legs slow and steady forward and at the same time keep balance my body. Once I have the pase and I told myself, "one - two, one - two, one- two," and I'm all ready at the middle of the rope. Jay shouts, "There you go, you almost there, Sufi." Gosh, this is not bad, telling myself and I'm arrived.
Before I started my next challenge, I pause and asking myself how to do this? I can hear Jay was not stop shouting encourage me to just move forward. He started to irritates me somehow and it distract my focus and I do remember gives him signal for him to shut the f*cked up! Oh, yeah, and he got it. :P
I started to calm down and focused to the next challenge. Its required me to step on a wood hanging and a big gap to cross over, there is a rope hanging and I need to swing to get to the next step for me to move to the next point. I did it again. I manage to control my fear, so far it's been good. I'm hearing cheers from the supporters.
The adrenalin starts to kicked it like hell and I love every moment. Keep telling myself to be brave, to have faith, to believe that I can do this challenge. And at the same time, I pray to God that things shall go smoothly. I feel relieved that I finally got to the last challenge. And the Facilitator just said to me to enjoy the ride. It was called the flying fox. I heard about it last time. All I need to do is just fly.. and up! Up! Weeeeeeeeeee........ Fantastic!! This is awesome, better than roller coster ride! Kawabanggaaaa!! Thank God there is someone special waiting and catch me at the other side..;P
When I looked back all the challenge that afternoon, hell NO I'm going to do it again. And then again, I proove myself that I conquer my worst nightmare. Still scare of height though. It's just don't stop me from achieving my goals.
Leap of Faith
And the ultimate challenge of the day is the Leap of Faith. Just imagine we climb the Tallest Durian Tree of more 100 metres height. Once I reach there, there is a ball (sepak raga ball) hanging, waiting to be slap. That ball symbolise my goal. I need to jump and with my left hand, I need to hit the ball. That's it.
So, as I climbing up all I'm thinking is my ultimate goal. What is so real to me and why this goal is important to me? What Goal mean? Why it is my goal - Desire? Compelling Desire? What do I want? So sudden, I have a vision of having my own family. :)
As I was standing on the platform and ready to jump. My focus is on the ball hanging. I set my mind on what I see beyond that ball, and when I am ready to leap, I gather one last strength and I scream out laud, "I want to have my oooowwwwwwwwnnnnnnnn familyyyyyyyyy...!!!!!!"
Yup! Everybody in the camp and the jungle heard it. Even God also heard my pray!! What's possible next is, "if it's to be, it's up to me," And, when my intention is clear, the path shall lead the way for both, me and him. I acknowledge of facing the risk. Risk that I am willing to take to make my dream come true. And in order for me to make my dream a reality I need to be something to contribute. I want to make my dream come true. I belief my dream shall be a reality and especially, I know I can count on him as well. I know that, it takes two to tango and, effective action are needed to make it happen. Sure, obstacle would love to drob bye say "hi!" and yes, I know, he knows that whatever happen, our will shall conquer all because, I will make sure that it is made by iron and not from plastic where we can recycle.
And this is one goal that I shall never let go.. To Be Love, To Do Love and To Have Love until the rest of my life and I know,me and him shall fly.. and we shall fly to the moon..