My LP Journey.
Why I Choose This Program
3 months ago, I decided to be in this program called Leadership Program - LP. I have no idea what kind of challenge that I may face and go through. However, before I signed up for this Program, I have started the journey 2 years before when I entered Basic Training. First question and the only thing that still remain in my head is, “Who am I PRETEND not to know.” Gosh! Even while writing about it, make my bulu roma berdiri, you know! Give me goose bum. Why? Because I always thought that I am fearful, stupid and low confident. That belief cost me six years and a half in UM just taking Law Degree. Super Duper Senior!! Ehem!! Well, it’s my past. So, being” that” does not help me to move forward, right? That is why I need to shift to be confident, powerful and smart woman. Haha! So, it is me who sabotage myself - I have been limit myself to step up and dream BIG.
I remember during my Training, the participants being such a lovely and giver people and the Staffing team such a warm and loving leader. And the Trainer is brilliant. At that time, I wonder what kind of voo-doo stuff that he have until he can GET me, understand me without I am really aware about it. Well, that is my experience during my Basic Training and it was fantastic until I felt like I want to be like them especially the Staffing Team of MSB11. From that training, I now I have confident to drive, ehem! And become a practitioner lawyer.
Anyway, back to the program. There are few assignments that we need to accomplish within three months of period, at the same we need to balance life that we live; work, family and friends and the goals that we committed to achieves. So, things have been double up or even triple if we choose to. And I am being in my comfort zone, being Miss 50-50 is totally NOT OK at all, because 50-50 (means half hearted) don’t create result that I want. Therefore, being Miss Focus! Determination! 100%! Can create awesome result!! Change does start from within and I trust that I am capable to juggle things in my life.
Why I choose This Goals
My first goal is to get back to writing again. I love to write when I was in high school and I forgot how passionate I was back then when I write. Why I love to write? Because I’m less good in public speaking? Hahaha!! No. I love to simply because I can be myself. I’m visualise, a dreamer, story-teller. Especially every time I wrote it with knowledge and from my heart. I created love and passionate trough writing. And determination is the key! Write 4000 words a week about gender equality!
My friend commented, “you ought to write a book!” Wow!! Yeah.. I think it’s possible. We’ll see. I get inspired by reading some of beautiful articles especially by Ms. Zainah Anwar, one of the founders of Sisters In Islam and lovely Marina Mahathir. Both of them are my inspirational and both of them write the truth and nothing but the truth. They both dare to give honest feedback about our Country as a whole because both of them are loving, honest and powerful women!! And, I GET them!
Get connected with my soul!
My second goal is to learn how to play guitar with my brothers so that I could perform 2 songs. I choose song by Ben E. King – Stand By Me and P.Ramlee – Getaran Jiwa. I used to have belief that would never know how to play guitar. I was not put my heart and soul to do that and so, I don’t play until recently, I feel envy to Ana Rafali, Yuna, Zee Avi how cool they are playing guitar. Hey, not bad for a woman to play guitar. So, I decided to break my belief that I can play with the help of my soul brothers.
God knows, how many times I cut the guitar string while I was trying to tuning-up the sounds like it suppose to sounded until the shop assistant at the instrument store that I always went to get a new set of the string, “New Set?”. Lately, I have a break down with the guitar; I wish I could smash it to the wall and then I realize that, I have not connected to my soul for that song – Getaran Jiwa/The vibration of the Soul. Anyway, it’s still in progress!
And why do I want to learn from my brother, I could just go the guitar class and depend on hot and hunk guitarist only right? But, hey.. who can beat the love that I have with my brothers. I want to get connected with each and every of them. So, first, get connected with my vision, my soul and my brother. Currently, I work with my second brother, Sufian. J And wish for a very strong and loving connection with all of them in future.
My third goal is to lose 10kilogram. Currently, I left 3kg to achieves my target!! Yes!! Why? Because I want to look good and when I look good, I feel good! When I feel good, I obviously going to conquer my fear and my doubt. I was not serious before about losing weight. I belief that losing weight is the harder things to do! But, hey.. it’s all depend on my being and how I see it and I desperately I want to keep fit and feel healthy!
I believe I can achieves those goals? It’s real! It’s important! And it’s my life. Never give up! This is not just a Leadership Program but it is how I want to live my life in future!! Create habits and result! And I shall never stop there. Keep continuing having a compelling desire, Solid belief, doing effective action and have an IRON WILL!
My feedback to you: So, do you have any goal? What do you want? By when you want to achieved it? Why izit so important to you that you really want to achieve it! ...but then, why are you holding it back? What is missing? Which one is more bigger? The goal or the consideration? Well, have a look .. really.
Other than to achieve my goals, I also feels honor to contribute my support to my fellow team mates in achieving their goals. For example, Joyce.
She was grew up with the leprosy home at Sungai Buloh, Pusat Kawalan Kusta. I heard of leprosy before but I never seen one. I guess, I don’t care enough to know about them and I am grateful to have this opportunity to have this experience.
It was held at the Dewan Orang Ramai, Sungai Buloh, and the event was called, “Valley of Hope,” It’s was huge and I felt overwhelm by the support by the public but then, Joyce really put 100% to make this event a successful. Very much indeed, the event was held from 9.00am until 3.00pm. The lounch of the event is at 1pm and it was launch by one of the Senior Officer of the Sungai Buloh Hospital.
A lot of activity held during that event. We have food stall. My other team mates and also contribute food to sell, my self sell curry puff and Agnes, sold it RM3 for four pieces. For charity! And the money would be chanelling to various home that needs help. We have a tour guide around the Valley where, they have post office, clinics, theather and chalet for the leprosy people to enjoy.
Oh, back then, leprosy can be infected to others so, that’s why they need to be isolated from others. And now, through medication, now the leprosy can be reduce. Well, for me, it’s really an eye opener. I have a chance to help one of the leprosy old man. His name his Subra, like as what he told me. And he is still single until now and he is 88 years old. Just imagine, the life that he has been through. I feel grateful to have this learning about leprosy.
Another one learning through this journey is when I assist a single mother in getting her son for custody at the Mahkamah Syariah. I have no idea how to help her in terms of preparing the litigation works but, yeah I take inisiative to learn and now, she is successful in getting what she wants. The love and hope for her son after, her trust towards her husband has been shattered and betrayed.
Through this journey, I learned more about myself and best, I learned about being is important element for us to achieve what we want in our life. Giving 100% is the ultimate and satisfied feeling ever.
Never give up and yes, sometimes, I have my breakdown when I put so much effort and it goes to drain so, what is missing? I learned and learning by doing is the most effective learn method.
Best I can say here and conclude, this is mylife!!