I guess I am a lucky devil. I grew up with 4 shining armor, 2 at my left wing and 2 at my right wing. My strong, artistic and protective Along (Salman), loving, responsible & supportive Angah (Sufian), respectful and clever Alim and my youngest brother, Caring and Authentic Safuan. They have made my life been a very interesting journey. They are like an open book for me to understand Men. The best part about them, they were born with different characteristic and yet they have common values that make our family stay together and strong.
People said, boys will always be boys and I tell you, grew up with them is the most challenging journey in my life and yet, they have made me the way I am right now. They make me soft and tough at the same time. They make me feel silly and smart all the time. They give me strength to move forward and stand on my feet. Although I was born a girl, they make never make me feel left out and I felt thankful that I am the ONLY sister that they have and that make feel, special! Haha!
Alim : U’r the most beautiful sister I ever had.
Me : I am the ONLY sister u has. What do you mean?
Alim : Precisely. Hehe..!! U also can be the worst ONE!
Me : (feeling irritated) Grrrrrr…!!!
Anyway, growing up with them has challenged me to be critical especially on the gender issues. I take notes on a few of stereotype myths about what boys and girls should do and should not do which is for me, some of it is unacceptable. Let me give you one example that really irritated me until now; girls don’t need to study hard because at the end of the day, they’ll end up in the kitchen. (Watta..???)
I don’t have issue if the girl chooses to be in the kitchen because they want to stay at home and be successful housewife and raise kids. But hey, why discourage them not to perform in studies? Education is the most important tool to everyone and this has trigger and push my red-elert button to gear-up me in my studies.
At that time, I was 15years old and I was not doing so well in studies and I acknowledge that I was lazy. I always laid back and I don’t care enough what result that I might get for my PMR (Penilaian Menengah Rendah) and as I expected due to my effort, I did not scores. At first it doesn’t bother me at all but then, Angah started to worry me by saying, “It’s okey Acu. You go on and watch this Chinese drama that you love so much. If u flunk your SPM next year and anybody want masuk minang you, sure dad go green light jer..” I looked at dad and he has no objection on that.
Masuk minang? Gulp! No freakin’ way. I remember how naïve and innocent I was about boys. I have no courage to have look into their eyes. I am a very timid and shy girl, you know. Marriage? No way. I’m still young!! I want to have a career. I want to earn my own money, my car, my house and many things. I want to go travel here and there. I want to have fun! I don’t want to get married (yet!!!). So, to make long story short, I did it! I prove to them that I can make it! Well, still in progress to achieve what I want and I love every moment of it.
What drive me to work hard in my studies because I want to feel secured for my future. I want to be independent and be able to stand on my feet without hoping and relying to man. If I allowed the mentality of letting man take care of everything in my life, it will lead me to several feelings such as not capable to figure things out. Well, when I say that I want to be independent, it does not mean that I don’t need man. Honestly, I need my brothers. They have helped me a lot in terms of supporting, advising, financially, technical stuff and many more. And I help them as well. We help each other in what we do best regardless of saying that “I’m a man and I know what’s best,” or, “This is man’s stuff. Let us handling this,”
I wish to share you one moment that I have with my brothers and what is their respond. I send one text sms to each of them, include my dad saying, "Terima kasih keraa meyayangi acu dgn sepenuh hati dan tanpa syarat. Terima kasih kerana meerima acu seadaanya dan menjaga acu baik2 sepanjang hidup acu. Acu sayang semua ahli keluarga acu dan acu nak kita semua tabah hadapi dugaan dan bersyukur dengan kurniaan Allah kerana dilahirkan dalam keluarga ini. Acu sangat bangga being part of ur life because I am important to you same like u are important to me.."
Along's reply; Kehadapan adikku sufiah. Semoga berada dalam keadaan sehat dan tidak tertekan akanperasaan yang meruntum jiwa akibat suasana iklim ekonomi yang melanda. Selalu berlaku sesuatu dalam perjalanan hidup kita sesuatu perkara yang kadang-kala tidak kita sangka, tetapi selalunya yang terjadi akibat sesuatu tindakan yang kita lakukan memberi kesan pada ramai pihak, Ianya adalah hukum alam atau hukum fizik. Adikku Sufiah, sesungguhnya dalam hidup ini kita kena ada batasan yang boleh mengawal norma-normal yang mudah. Kita lupa tapi, boleh kembali. Kita manusia yang tidak tahu apa yang Tuhan tahu. Pada masa yang sama kita tidak melampau batas, Along tetap menyayangi adik Along tetapi, telah ditakdirkan sikap Along memang sinis. Maruah,tempat yang dijaga kerna di situ ada kita, Berapa harga maruah kita? Emak.. Abah hendak kita letak? Amat tidak patut maruah kita dipersendakan. Jagalah...
Angah's reply; Angah akan selalu menyayangi Acu. Always. U the best I ever had.
Alim's reply; I love you too. Just don't do any stupid thing.
Safuan's reply; Pe da.. Ayat jiwang karat...
Abah's reply; (He called me straight after he received it.
Cheers Bro! Salute!