Wednesday, June 8, 2011

You Complete Me

This article is dedicated to this special man who has opened up my mind, my heart and my eyes to be anything that I want in life.

Thank you Boo for giving me an opportunity to love, to trust and to dream..

It was 7th -9th August 2009 when I was first set my eyes on him and the relationship is just based on Team Leader and Small Group. I was representing Sisters In Islam to attend this training sponsored by Asiaworks Foundation. I have no idea what it's all about. However, before I attend this training, I need to fill up a few sheet of paper asking what I want to achieved in life. At that time, I was not so serious in thinking on what I really want in my life. I was having my sweet time doing some paper works and do training for chambering student by giving them a few awareness about women's right and human rights.

And so, I answered that question and I found out about myself, there is a lot in areas of my life I have not achieved yet although, at that time, I have Law Degree but I did not practise Law because I have a believe that I'm not good enough. I have "L" license but too "chicken" to learn to drive. I have a boyfriend but, he is such an ass at that time. I was not happy at my workplace because I'm searching for something worth for me to work hard on but, I don't know what it is.

When I was at the training, I look at these people how wonderful they are. They are stranger to each other and yet they are very warm and so much a giver. The crowd was multiracial and I'm quite surprise that OKU people are also been invited to this training. I look forward to experience this training. I just hope that it will turn out different from the previous training that I have attended before.

Well, the universe has work in a mysterious way.. and from that moment, my life has change.

Mr. H was my team leader. In the group we have Uncle Daniel, Yogeswari, Kash, Ash, Thammy & I. Mr. H insist that I change to the other group because he wants more guys so that his group could be gender balance. I was shaking my head. It's no way I'm gonna move my ass and walk to other group. I'm okey with the group.. :P

So, in the group we built trust and openness. We share on what area in life that we want to enhance. I was a low confident girl, been so quite and just go with the flow.. and bit by bit, trough the day, I did the exercise and take the value of it. The trainer was Mr. Gordon. A very good looking and charming man. He has that mojo that I shall never forget. Simple and yet very powerful.

I still remember, it was black and red game.

This game is very powerful and has trigger a lot of serious questions that I always avoid. To conclude, how I play this game is same like how I live my life. Fuck! It's really has hit me so hard and yet I realize that, it's a wake up call for me to live my life differently from now on.

That night, I called Mr. H just because I trust him, I trust his being in this training room is to help me to clear in what's was I just experienced. I allowed myself to feel hurt, to feel regret, to be angry and to realize that I am important to everybody. Every decision in life that I took, there is no right, no wrong. It's just a decision that's gonna effect me and everybody in my life.

I take risk to share what I experience and I found out that I am Ms. 50-50, that's why never get full satisfaction in everything I do. I didn't put 100% and it does not matter how I justify things. The result that count. Thanks to Mr. Gordon, now I am a practising lawyer, I'm driving Myvi and I shall live my life to the fullest.

And when my love relationship matter were openly discussed, Mr. Gordon did it again.. In a relationship where my love, my trust have been abused, I put the blame on my boyfriend because he control me, he manipulate my mind and my heart but, at the end, I realize that I have the power to make it stop. I have the power to control my life and live my dreams..

Three months later, I use my power to end the 2 1/2 years relationship, which for me it's the longest relationship I ever be in. I stayed single until April 2010 and when it's all started between Mr H and I..

All I can say now is he complete me. And he said to me, "You had me at Hello,"

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