Sunday, June 5, 2011

“I don’t do girls stuff”

I am very close with my Second Brother. He is such a gentle and loving brother. I spoke to me with reason and by his heart. He's born in 12th August 1975. 5 years older than me.

We have a lot of pictures together when we grow up. There is one picture Dad took, I was holding a pencil and color his book. He complaint to mom that I marked his school book and he got scolded by his teacher. I love to hold pencil and I was a lefty.

Mom told me, Angah has been taking care of me when I was still a baby. He is so into me. Maybe we have same name, he is Sufian. I am Sufiah. :) Mom also told me, he is the one that always help her in the kitchen or at least helped her "sidai baju" and taking care of the house for her when she is in pantang after gives me birth.

However, Angah have shared me one story when he was around 6 or 7 years old, (I was 2 or 3 years old back then) he’s the one who have help my mother a lot in the kitchen. He told me he has stop helping mother in the kitchen when he overheard Dad said to his guest, that Angah now is playing role of anak dara in the house just because at that time, he is the only person that can be rely on to help my mother. He admitted that he was feeling a bit "jauh hati" with my Dad’s statement and since then, he will try to avoid doing “girly” stuff and that include wash dishes or fried egg.. :/

He's married now. He got 1 son (elder) and 2 girls.

What's really bother me is that the decision that he take, the excuses that he gives for not lending a hand to mother just because he is a boy and boys don't do girls stuff.

I understand where he come from. However, if he keep continue be in that thinking, it's actually influence his kids as well. When we think about parenting, we see what we want to create for the children and what we want them to become.

We might have a few ideas what or who boys or girls should do or be. I tell you, our kids can surprise us with what they have learned by observed our being.

Dad might said something that he should not said. He is still human, a parents can be wrong and at the same time they can be right. But, we as their children as time passed by and we grew wise and we should have know the difference what's right and what's wrong.

Still blaming them for their words and action actually bring to nowhere. We can choose to have a bigger heart and forgive them and start to create something difference for our own family so, that they could understand about being equal and fair to each other.

Angah has always be a supportive brother to me, in everything that I do and he is wise to be there and listen to me and at the same time he guide me to take the right path.

I remember I was in relationship with this man from Iran. His name is Arash. I love him to death and willing to do anything for him. But, he abuse the trust that I create with him and things don't go accordingly. And, my Angah was there to open up my eyes and my mind and my heart and said, "Hey, some people learned from an easy way, and some people learned from a hard way, lesson learned and moved on, sis. I will always be there for you,"

Oh God. Thank God for him as one of my brother. He guide me a lot of things when I started to journey my life as a teenager to an adult teenager. He was there when I fall in love for the first time, he was there when I was in broken up session. He was there when I was broke down. He was there when my car got into trouble. He always there for me and I really grateful that he is my loving and supportive brother. Things will never be the same for me if he is not around.

He is one of a few good men in my life and I cherish him for the rest of my life. I am honored to be his ONLY sister and I love him so much.

"Thank you Angah for being there for me and making me feel worthy to be a woman in this life. You have shown me how to make me feel important and support me until I have become what I am right now,"


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