Thursday, July 28, 2011

Circle Of Trust

Circle of Trust.

"To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved."

- George MacDonald

Definition of Trust.


1. reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.

2. confident expectation of something; hope.

3. confidence in the certainty of future payment for property or goods received; credit: to sell merchandise on trust.

What is Trust?

Trust is both and emotional and logical act.

Emotionally, it is where you expose your vulnerabilities to people, but believing they will not take advantage of your openness.

Logically, it is where you have assessed the probabilities of gain and loss, calculating expected utility based on hard performance data, and concluded that the person in question will behave in a predictable manner. In practice, trust is a bit of both. I trust you because I have experienced your trustworthiness and because I have faith in human nature.

We feel trust. Emotions associated with trust include companionship, friendship, love, agreement, relaxation, comfort.

There are a number of different ways we can define trust. However, this article written to focus on the trust involve emotionally.

It is a normal part of the human condition to be constantly forecasting ahead. We build belief based both on our experiences and what others tell us, and then use these to guess what will happen next. This allows us to spot and prepare for threats and also make plans to achieve our longer-term goals.

Definition 1: Trust means being able to predict what other people will do and what situations will occur. If we can surround ourselves with people we trust, then we can create a safe present and an even better future.

Showing off vulnerabilities

When we trust other people, we may not only be giving them something in hope of getting something else back in the future, we may also be exposing ourselves in a way that they can take advantage of our vulnerabilities. If I buy a car from you and I do not know a good price, you can lie to me so you get a better bargain. If I tell you in confidence about the problems I am having with work, you could use this to further your own career at my expense.

Although the threat of retribution or projected feelings of guilt can counteract your temptation to abuse my exposed vulnerabilities, if you surrender I still get hurt and may still end up with the shorter stick.

Definition 2: Trust means enabling other people to take advantage of your vulnerabilities—but expecting that they will not do this.

So what? So learn about trust, how it works and how to build it. If you do it well, other people will give you the earth. If you betray them, they will hunt you to the ends of the earth.

“We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy”

-Walter Anderson quotes


A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend, one human soul whom we can trust utterly who knows the best and worst of us and who loves us in spite of all our faults.

~ Charles Kingsley

The Importance of Trust in a Love Relationship

The glue that holds all relationships together, including the relationship between the leader and the led is trust and trust is based on integrity.

~ Brian Tracy

What do you need to create with your partner in order to enjoy a healthy, loving relationship?

It all begins with trust. If you don't have it, you have nothing. If you're dating or married to a man or woman whom you're suspicious, then not only are you suffering, your relationship is a sham. Trust is built slowly over time, but of it can be shattered in an instant. Honor your loved one by acting with integrity at all times.

And when the Trust has been broken...

“I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you”

Friedrich Nietzsche quotes

Trust is built in a relationship when both people are open to learning rather than controlling through anger, withdrawal, compliance or resistance. When our intention is to control rather than to learn about what is loving to ourselves and our partner, we can never trust or feel secure with our partner, because if we can control and manipulate him or her, others can too - and that's scary.

When to think about it, I still remember when I was in relationship with one man that faced an issue to trust his partner. He become controlling, possessing, and always felt insecure about the relationship between us. I was abused mentally and emotionally.

Almost 2 years I let myself into that situations, it is sadden to me when he is the man that I have decided to be with. And then, I learned that, I have control of my life and all I need to do is to trust myself and be a trustworthy woman. It took me a no longer then I ever imagine until I open up. I gain trust to myself that, when I to learn about loving myself and others rather than let other people have to control on me. The more I trust myself, the more open and trusting I can be with our partner.

People often hold back from being open with their partners with the implication, "I can't be open until you prove that I can trust you." By trust they mean being able to predict their partners' response, guaranteeing that their partners will be loving rather than rejecting. One of life's hardest realities is that this kind of guarantee is impossible.

However, the more we trust ourselves and develop our ability to speak our truth, the more we are willing to be open and risk another's free response to us. This is what creates a loving and trusting relationship.



No comments:

Post a Comment