As we walk our journey in life, we met a lot of human being. They offered their trust, their honesty, their love and a lot more..
I miss my bestfriend.
I have not be open to her and share how much I miss her and how much I love her. I have not share with her that I care a lot about her.
I start knowing her since we studying in Universiti Malaya and I have a bad experience with her in our fisrt week of orientation and since then, I pleadge myself not to get connected with her. I'm serious. Let me put it to you this way; She is typical controlled b*tch and boss around is what she do best and I was as blur as ever - typical nerd!!
Although, I know that by heart, she is a good friend but, I closed my heart for her. Period. If I saw her walking towards me, I will purposely take the other way as long as I did not bump into her. I don't hate her. It just that her being make me uncomfortable and what's funny, she never remember that incident and naively think, I was okay.
Well, some people say, "what you resist, presist." And, It changed my being towards her. That night, I saw her. She was so sad. Really sad. I felt something for her. Compassionate. Sincere. Care. And I offered her my friendship. A small note for her saying, "Whenever U need a friend, I will be there,"
I never expectating anything back from her but, that morning, she replied, "You are a friend indeed, and you are a friend in need.." I was overwhelm and feel excited. Okay, what's next? Life goes on. As time passed by, faith eventually work the way that both of us be bestfriend. What's funny, her mother are old friend to my dad. Both of them use to work together in Angkasapuri in 80-ies before, my dad shift to Prime Minister Department.
Both me and her have up and down. We share a lot of secrets, and and we care each other. She scolded me like I'm her younger sister if I being blur sometime. She is the most trusted friend that I ever had. We experience love, hurt, betrayal, determination, courages, new experience, bubu-moment, funny, sad, we kick ass each other, we have cat-fight sometimes and we make up after we break up.
But, last "hick-up".. hurt me so much. And I responsible for that. Thinking that, what kind of friend I am to her. And I selfishly ignore her point of view and rip her heart as well. Must be hurtful for her to receives such comment from me. And I, want to talk about having a life changing. I refuse to accept her point of view and thinking that she must be out of her head of making and having such decision.
I went overboard. I want to say sorry. But, sorry is hardest word to say. I lost a friendship in order for me to be right. And I don't do anything much to convince her that I am remorsely regret that by acting that way, she lose her trust in me.
I wish thing could be different and we could be connected again and things are back the way it were before.
I'm sorry. I miss you so much. Can you please forgive me? I need your friendship so bad. And my life never be the same without you supporting me.